“Sadly, the ones who hold the spotlight for others cannot come under it!’”
………………
She is a Mom’s girl, and in her life, her Dad is nowhere near the pedestal. And in any case, it is difficult to tell someone ‘about to enter teens’ to like or dislike something on its merit. That age goes more by ‘apparent’ than by ‘profound’…
Last time when I was at their house, I again heard her eulogizing her mother’s role in a contextual conversation, while her dad sat there smiling all the while. Later, as I stood in the balcony, she came and stood beside me. When she asked what I was thinking, I said what I wanted to tell her for a long time…
I said “You know something. While your mother is around you more often, tends to your every need and comes across as the one who loves you more; he has made huge contributions to your life – though silently and less explicitly. It is not just about playing the stereotyped ‘earning’ role; he has transformed almost everything about himself – his schedules, priorities, desires, and even his nature. He has done everything he can to maintain many complex intrapersonal and interpersonal threads to give to you two the ecosystem that you live in. In fact, he has even rationalized his expectations from your mother so that the bond between you two can remain unaffected”.
I paused and then continued…“You know girl…root doesn’t bear fruit, but it is the reason for it! It’s just that some entities are more interested in creation rather than credit.”
………………
Decades ago, during World War II, Winston Churchill had said that the real war-heroes are not just the army men, but also the coal-miners who provide army men with the most essential of resources. He had famously said that “They choose to stay in the pits and dig continuously with their faces in the coal, so that someone can go there and work in the defense of liberty”…
Well! This post is not about mother vs. father, or even about Churchill. It is about the fact that there are coal-miners in the life of each of us…
…Let’s learn to appreciate the role they play! 🙂
About Sandeep Atre
Dr. Sandeep Atre:
• Counseling Psychologist and an internationally recognized ‘Emotional & Social Intelligence’ Expert, with experience of more than two decades in helping people ‘sort out’ and ‘excel in’ intrapersonal and interpersonal matters. He holds a PhD in Management and a Master’s degree in Psychology (www.dratrecounsels.com).
• Founder of Socialigence – a venture specializing in development of ‘Social & Emotional Intelligence’ and its offshoot interpersonal skills through workshops and an award-winning online course rooted in neuroscience and psychology (www.socialigence.net).
• Author of two books related to his domain, namely - “Understanding Emotions Logically” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior”; and third book on various aspects of life, named “Two Paras of Everyday Wisdom”. Moreover, the collection of his Nazms and Ghazals is published as a book titled “Baat Jazbaat Ki”.
• Corporate Trainer, with experience of close to two decades. Has conducted 150+ workshops/sessions for 50+ organizations & institutions like CSC, Cummins, Piramal, Ranbaxy, Lupin, Bridgestone, Michelin, Eicher, Maruti, Force, Idea, Airtel, NBHC, SBI, HDFC, L&T, Zydus, Thapar University, Banasthali, Narsee Monjee, Symbiosis, IIFM Bhopal, Azim Premji University, Nirma, Welingkar & IBS Hyderabad.
• Co-Founder and Director of CH EdgeMakers – a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ organization of central India for more than 24 years. He has trained close to 100 thousand students for ‘Soft Skills’ & ‘Entrance & Recruitment Preparation’ (www.ch-india.com).
• ‘Management Speaker and Orator’. Has featured at platforms like TEDx, IIM, IIT, NIT, CII, YI, CII-IWN, TCS, IMA, ICAI, ECA, ISHRAE, NEN, Sahodaya, Aditya Birla Education Academy, Round Table, LinkedIn Local, Rotary International, MP State’s Teachers’ Training, Academic Staff College DAVV, Police University Rajasthan, Police Training Academy Indore & more than 100 institutions.
• Member of noted associations and boards. Has been an ‘Executive Committee’ member of Indore Management Association. Associate Editor of IMA publications. Governing Council Member of Banasthali University’s SBBJ Centre for Research in MSME & Promotion of Entrepreneurship in Women. Executive Member of IMS, DAVV Alumni Association. Member of Rotary International’s ‘Group Study Exchange’ team to Minnesota, USA. ESI Coach with FWSA Australia.
Note: For glimpses of work, watch YouTube Channel ‘Dr. Sandeep Atre at Socialigence’.
