“Please don’t shout!” she said while pointing her finger at him…
…and immediately I realized why he shouts so often.
Over the years, I have come across a lot of people who have been branded as ‘aggressive’. Blamed for sudden bursts of shouting and impulsive episodes of losing their cool, they are also known for blowing something out of proportions and then getting into a short ‘hysteria’ of uncontrolled barrage of words, while bringing other out-of-context points and old buried complaints out of nowhere.
However, what I have realized is that while some of these people have serious aggression issues, most of them have a different reason behind this syndrome. And it is that incidentally they have ‘got partnered’ or ‘are surrounded by’ persons who are at the other end of the spectrum.
In the name of being ‘calm and composed’, these other-end persons are actually plain cold; with their so-called normalness actually bordering on indifference. They are often unresponsive and tend to be inappropriately less-sensitive. In fact, their objectivity comes from unwillingness to take accountability or hardly any desire to look beyond themselves.
Well! Ironically, in our society, cynical indifference is more acceptable than involved anger. That’s why, when these ‘two types’ somehow land up together in a relationship or association, the second-type person mostly sets the definition of ‘normal’ behavior by his or her criteria. And from then onward, the first-type person has to live up to this lopsided definition.
And in this ‘pursuit’, which obviously and unfairly favors the second-type, the first-type keeps falling short.
Yes! What second-types don’t realize is that the first-types don’t shout to cause pain… they actually shout because of it.