At times all you want is to go away from all the melodrama around.
There is a difference between sensitivity and melodrama…
Sensitivity is about ‘paying attention to and taking care of’ even the smallest of things. Apparatus, methods, mannerisms, hints, words, tone, gestures, and even their interconnections – all matter. In short, a place for everything and everything at its place! In spite of this, in sensitivity, ‘you let small things remain small, and do not blow them out of proportions’.
On the contrary, in melodrama, ‘you do not let small things remain small; you blow them out of proportions to make them big’. Every ‘out of place’ thing is overhyped, every word is analyzed threadbare, every gesture is taken as a hint, every aberration is seen as a mistake, and what you miss suddenly becomes the most sacrosanct. And alas, often it is confused as sensitivity.
Well! What separates ugly melodrama from beautiful sensitivity is just one thing… ‘Over’.
Not all relationships ‘that work’ work for both partners…
There are times when, to make a relationship work, one of them has either redefined his priorities, or has learnt to stay quiet, or has reduced her expectations from the relationship, or has changed himself completely. And this has yielded results, because at least on surface, everything has stabilized.
But it is a façade. Beneath the surface, things will only get complicated with time. The person who has adjusted will continue to feel a sense of dissatisfaction, paranoia, betrayal, and even vengeance. And it all will affect the long-term health of the relationship.
At one point in future, this gradual corrosion will begin to show. It will get manifested in that person’s physical health, mental fitness and emotional condition. It will start with little changes in behavior and will end up engulfing not only ‘both the individuals’ but also the relationship.
And from there, there is no coming back…
Relationships are meant to create synergy. Alas, some end up only sapping energy.
In life, most people never admit their flaws.
Some of them were never told about their flaws so they think they never had them. It was probably because people around them were either too doting, too considerate or too busy to mention them. Or for that matter, possibly people around them also had the same flaws.
Some of them deliberately avoid looking at their flaws because that makes them feel low and nervous. So they adopt a defense-mechanism of denial. This saves them from any emotional dejection, and also from any mental discomfort of working towards correcting the flaws.
Some of them name their flaws as their ‘style’. As a result, they develop an arrogant confidence about themselves. Consequently, people around them start getting intimidated and begin to accommodate. This lets these people believe that in life there is nothing like ‘flaws’.
And in all these cases, the common outcome is that people are never able to unleash their full potential or establish meaningful connections. What a pity…
Yes! While seeing wounds in mirror, you can’t apply Band-Aid on the mirror and then…hope to heal.
In life, sometimes we are simply solving a wrong question.
Why is it always about… just one more room in the house, just one more zero in the pay-cheque, just one more promotion, just one more week of vacation, just one more hour of sleep, just one more degree on the visiting card, just one more chance to prove oneself?
Why can’t it be about… just one less dose of desire, just one less round of regret, just one less case of complaint, just one less hounding of harshness, just one less attack of anger, just one less tingling of temptation, just one less episode of envy?
I guess latter is a better way to be more or less ‘happy’ 🙂
Good times don’t last forever. So, if you have tide on your side…keep sailing!
At times, fortunes change so suddenly that you are not able to even register what happened! Yes, in a day’s time, worlds come down crashing. It is as if a giant wave comes and takes away with it everything you had built, leaving the shore so calm and empty as if nothing was ever there. And you aren’t even sad or angry, you are simply…numb.
That’s why it is important to respect the vicissitudes of time, and live in resonance with it. So, if you are going through a good phase, don’t waste it. Avoid inflated ego, petty battles, bare-chested bragging, needless reshuffling, indulgent overthinking, misplaced ambitiousness or tempting distractions. Simply stay focused and keep giving your best.
Because if the tide will turn, you will realize how you never heard a giant clock ticking up there.
Democracy is good only when people put ‘larger-good’ above ‘what’s good for them’
Over the years I have realized that you can’t make people do even the right thing, because they have different definitions of ‘what’s right’, and those definitions are governed less by ‘what’s the best way to serve’ and more by ‘what serves them best’.
That’s perfectly understandable because of course everyone has a right to exercise one’s discretion and maximize one’s chances of addressing one’s priorities. However, problem starts when people are in a setup which puts them in a network of interdependence.
Because then…all of them can at best attain ‘good’ and can never reach the ‘best’!
And then, full-form of TEAM becomes ‘Together Everyone Attains Mediocrity’ 🙂
In life, there will always be negative ‘events’. But do not let them become negative ‘experiences’.
I am a firm believer in the saying “experience is not what you come across. It is what you do with what you come across”. Yes! You may never have control over what happens to you, but more often than not, you can still have control over what you let it do to you. Thus whenever you go through something unpleasant, try to see it in a light that makes it look less dark.
See it as a learning you required at this point of time, a teaching that was long due, a cue for solving a problem, a hint for making a decision, a nudge from destiny towards a preordained route, or simply a message from the guy up-there that will make sense sometime down the line. So, a ‘negative feeling’ could be a natural first reaction, but a ‘positive inference’ should be the end-point.
This way, rather than growing cynical with every passing year, you will become a person who has…
…been there…done that!
In life, every relationship introduces you to yourself in a unique way.
If it weren’t for it, you would never come to know that you can be so strong yet so weak, so giving yet so insecure, so adjusting yet so possessive, so patient yet so impulsive, so dignified yet so frivolous, so clear yet so muddled, so decisive yet so tentative, so together yet so lonely, so happy yet so sad, so complete yet so inadequate.
Yes! It is as if you are on a journey within.
So, when you love, you feel…you gush…you care…you share…you smile…you sob…you laugh…you cry…you regret…you rejoice! But don’t forget to also…
… learn from it. 🙂
A peculiar feeling which most of us have is that…
…we are happy, but not happy enough… we are successful, but not successful enough… we are known, but not known enough… we have come a long way, but not far enough… we earn decent, but not decent enough… we look good, but not good enough… we feel fine, but not fine enough… we are doing well, but not well enough…
Well! That’s not the problem. The problem is that we don’t understand that…
…nothing is ever ‘enough’.
Sometimes it takes all you’ve got…to keep the wolves away.
In the world around us, there are many people who are sitting on a tragedy from past, a trauma of some sorts – a misfortune…a betrayal…or a mistake. Beneath the façade of ‘all is well now’, the truth is that they still struggle to maintain normalness inside. There are nights when the ghosts from the past scare their sleep away, and there are mornings when they have to literally pull themselves out of bed to enter the world outside their rooms.
They are always on the verge of slipping back into the valleys which they have climbed breathlessly to come to the ground. Every setback sets them back, and every comment of criticism sends them back into the whirls of self-pity. Their experiences have made them oversensitive, and the distrust they feel because of ‘being let-down so often’ by both man & god has made them vulnerable to trusting wrong people again. It is a daily struggle that will only end with life.
Ironically, those who are ‘lucky to have a normal life till now’ can never understand how it feels.
And unfortunately…nor can the sufferers ever tell.