“Please don’t shout!” she said while pointing her finger at him…
…and immediately I realized why he shouts so often.
……….
Over the years, I have come across a lot of people who have been branded as ‘aggressive’. Blamed for sudden bursts of shouting and impulsive episodes of losing their cool, they are also known for blowing something out of proportions and then getting into a short ‘hysteria’ of uncontrolled barrage of words, while bringing other out-of-context points and old buried complaints out of nowhere.
However, what I have realized is that while some of these people have serious aggression issues, most of them have a different reason behind this syndrome. And it is that incidentally they have ‘got partnered’ or ‘are surrounded by’ persons who are at the other end of the spectrum.
In the name of being ‘calm and composed’, these other-end persons are actually plain cold; with their so-called normalness actually bordering on indifference. They are often unresponsive and tend to be inappropriately less-sensitive. In fact, their objectivity comes from unwillingness to take accountability or hardly any desire to look beyond themselves.
Well! Ironically, in our society, cynical indifference is more acceptable than involved anger. That’s why, when these ‘two types’ somehow land up together in a relationship or association, the second-type person mostly sets the definition of ‘normal’ behavior by his or her criteria. And from then onward, the first-type person has to live up to this lopsided definition.
And in this ‘pursuit’, which obviously and unfairly favors the second-type, the first-type keeps falling short.
……….
Yes! What second-types don’t realize is that the first-types don’t shout to cause pain… they actually shout because of it.
About Sandeep Atre
Dr. Sandeep Atre:
• Counseling Psychologist and an internationally recognized ‘Emotional & Social Intelligence’ Expert, with experience of more than two decades in helping people ‘sort out’ and ‘excel in’ intrapersonal and interpersonal matters. He holds a PhD in Management and a Master’s degree in Psychology (www.dratrecounsels.com).
• Founder of Socialigence – a venture specializing in development of ‘Social & Emotional Intelligence’ and its offshoot interpersonal skills through workshops and an award-winning online course rooted in neuroscience and psychology (www.socialigence.net).
• Author of two books related to his domain, namely - “Understanding Emotions Logically” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior”; and third book on various aspects of life, named “Two Paras of Everyday Wisdom”. Moreover, the collection of his Nazms and Ghazals is published as a book titled “Baat Jazbaat Ki”.
• Corporate Trainer, with experience of close to two decades. Has conducted 150+ workshops/sessions for 50+ organizations & institutions like CSC, Cummins, Piramal, Ranbaxy, Lupin, Bridgestone, Michelin, Eicher, Maruti, Force, Idea, Airtel, NBHC, SBI, HDFC, L&T, Zydus, Thapar University, Banasthali, Narsee Monjee, Symbiosis, IIFM Bhopal, Azim Premji University, Nirma, Welingkar & IBS Hyderabad.
• Co-Founder and Director of CH EdgeMakers – a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ organization of central India for more than 24 years. He has trained close to 100 thousand students for ‘Soft Skills’ & ‘Entrance & Recruitment Preparation’ (www.ch-india.com).
• ‘Management Speaker and Orator’. Has featured at platforms like TEDx, IIM, IIT, NIT, CII, YI, CII-IWN, TCS, IMA, ICAI, ECA, ISHRAE, NEN, Sahodaya, Aditya Birla Education Academy, Round Table, LinkedIn Local, Rotary International, MP State’s Teachers’ Training, Academic Staff College DAVV, Police University Rajasthan, Police Training Academy Indore & more than 100 institutions.
• Member of noted associations and boards. Has been an ‘Executive Committee’ member of Indore Management Association. Associate Editor of IMA publications. Governing Council Member of Banasthali University’s SBBJ Centre for Research in MSME & Promotion of Entrepreneurship in Women. Executive Member of IMS, DAVV Alumni Association. Member of Rotary International’s ‘Group Study Exchange’ team to Minnesota, USA. ESI Coach with FWSA Australia.
Note: For glimpses of work, watch YouTube Channel ‘Dr. Sandeep Atre at Socialigence’.
