In my line of work, sometimes, if after discussing with me, someone’s ‘lowered eyes’ can ‘close’ for a while and then ‘look straight’ back at mine, then I know my job is done.
She is well settled; with a loving partner and a complete family. They are pious and devoted, and have been followers of this saintly religious-figure. One day, he was discussing the concept of ‘sins’ and included illegitimate intimacy as one of them.
And she told me that since that day, she has been filled with this strong recurring guilt…”
She said…“I recalled my past, and that has been corroding me from inside”.
I could see the anguish painted all over her face…
I said “I don’t endorse what you did. But only you were there. And thus only you know whether it was a sin. Only you can tell if it was merely physical…if it can be expressed in a word which has four letters or just three”.
I continued…“Don’t get me wrong. But there was no saint there…, just the two sinners! So give me their point of view…”
She paused and said “Honestly, that so-called illegitimate moment was far more pure and emotional. I had felt far more valued.”
I smiled, got up, and while leaving said “Then go back lady…continue to listen to those sermons. But all the while just remember one thing…
…‘conscience can’t be outsourced”.