“What is happening in our relationships is often a projection of what is going on inside us”
I have known her for long. She is smart…independent…ambitious, and…with relationship status that consistently reads…‘it’s complicated’.
She doesn’t realize but her problem is that ‘she is forever attracted to someone who is hard to get’.
So this is how it goes: She finds that ‘someone’, obsesses, pursues, and makes a chase out of it. And finally, she wins. Congrats!!! She has achieved, conquered, clinched! But…‘now what’? Well! Now something goes missing. After all, when you start from the ‘peak’, the road ahead only goes downhill. Now, with ‘dopamine rush’ gone, things get messed up…it’s all lukewarm…and doesn’t quite feel the way it is supposed to.
And sadly, she doesn’t know that the problem is much bigger than she thinks. The problem is inside her.
The ‘achievement drive’ inside her is finding the wrong outlets. And the realm of relationships isn’t the apt one for a ‘100 meter’ race put on an infinite loop. It is supposed to be a golf game played for leisure, with many small goals, achieved one after another, on changing courses, with casual banters, unplanned laughs, pats on the back, high fives, occasional teasing and ‘never mind, there is always next time’ pronounced with a familiar accent.
Alas! I wish I could tell her…“Dear, you are all the time playing the wrong game on a right turf.
And you know what? There is another thing I feel like whispering to her. And that is: “My girl…let me also tell you a secret…‘No man is actually even half as good as he seems while you are chasing him’”. 🙂