The Love-Chase…

“What is happening in our relationships is often a projection of what is going on inside us


I have known her for long. She is smart…independent…ambitious, and…with relationship status that consistently reads…‘it’s complicated’.

She doesn’t realize but her problem is that ‘she is forever attracted to someone who is hard to get’.

So this is how it goes: She finds that ‘someone’, obsesses, pursues, and makes a chase out of it. And finally, she wins. Congrats!!! She has achieved, conquered, clinched! But…‘now what’? Well! Now something goes missing. After all, when you start from the ‘peak’, the road ahead only goes downhill. Now, with ‘dopamine rush’ gone, things get messed up…it’s all lukewarm…and doesn’t quite feel the way it is supposed to.

And sadly, she doesn’t know that the problem is much bigger than she thinks. The problem is inside her.

The ‘achievement drive’ inside her is finding the wrong outlets. And the realm of relationships isn’t the apt one for a ‘100 meter’ race put on an infinite loop. It is supposed to be a golf game played for leisure, with many small goals, achieved one after another, on changing courses, with casual banters, unplanned laughs, pats on the back, high fives, occasional teasing and ‘never mind, there is always next time’ pronounced with a familiar accent.

Alas! I wish I could tell her…“Dear, you are all the time playing the wrong game on a right turf.


And you know what? There is another thing I feel like whispering to her. And that is: “My girl…let me also tell you a secret…‘No man is actually even half as good as he seems while you are chasing him’”. 🙂

About Sandeep Atre

Sandeep Atre, PhD: Dr. Sandeep Atre is the Founder-Director of Socialigence – an organization that specializes in the development of ‘Social Intelligence’ through its focused online-courses and customized workshops on ‘observing nonverbal behavior and understanding emotions for greater interpersonal effectiveness and self-management’. ( He is also one of the Founder-Directors of CH EdgeMakers - a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ group of Central India. In his career of close to one and a half decade, he has trained thousands of students, and professionals of more than fifty organizations and institutions. He has authored two books “Understanding Emotions Logically – A layman’s guide to the foundations of Social Intelligence” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior – An exhaustive guide to the essential skill of Social Intelligence” and has also been a noted blogger for last many years. He has also featured at various prestigious platforms as a ‘Management Speaker’ and ‘Motivational Orator’ and has also served on various advisory and editorial boards. He has earned repute for his value-additive innovation and holistic methodology in his domain.
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