“What is happening in our relationships is often a projection of what is going on inside us”
……….
I have known her for long. She is smart…independent…ambitious, and…with relationship status that consistently reads…‘it’s complicated’.
She doesn’t realize but her problem is that ‘she is forever attracted to someone who is hard to get’.
So this is how it goes: She finds that ‘someone’, obsesses, pursues, and makes a chase out of it. And finally, she wins. Congrats!!! She has achieved, conquered, clinched! But…‘now what’? Well! Now something goes missing. After all, when you start from the ‘peak’, the road ahead only goes downhill. Now, with ‘dopamine rush’ gone, things get messed up…it’s all lukewarm…and doesn’t quite feel the way it is supposed to.
And sadly, she doesn’t know that the problem is much bigger than she thinks. The problem is inside her.
The ‘achievement drive’ inside her is finding the wrong outlets. And the realm of relationships isn’t the apt one for a ‘100 meter’ race put on an infinite loop. It is supposed to be a golf game played for leisure, with many small goals, achieved one after another, on changing courses, with casual banters, unplanned laughs, pats on the back, high fives, occasional teasing and ‘never mind, there is always next time’ pronounced with a familiar accent.
Alas! I wish I could tell her…“Dear, you are all the time playing the wrong game on a right turf.
……….
And you know what? There is another thing I feel like whispering to her. And that is: “My girl…let me also tell you a secret…‘No man is actually even half as good as he seems while you are chasing him’”. 🙂
About Sandeep Atre
Dr. Sandeep Atre:
• Counseling Psychologist and an internationally recognized ‘Emotional & Social Intelligence’ Expert, with experience of more than two decades in helping people ‘sort out’ and ‘excel in’ intrapersonal and interpersonal matters. He holds a PhD in Management and a Master’s degree in Psychology (www.dratrecounsels.com).
• Founder of Socialigence – a venture specializing in development of ‘Social & Emotional Intelligence’ and its offshoot interpersonal skills through workshops and an award-winning online course rooted in neuroscience and psychology (www.socialigence.net).
• Author of two books related to his domain, namely - “Understanding Emotions Logically” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior”; and third book on various aspects of life, named “Two Paras of Everyday Wisdom”. Moreover, the collection of his Nazms and Ghazals is published as a book titled “Baat Jazbaat Ki”.
• Corporate Trainer, with experience of close to two decades. Has conducted 150+ workshops/sessions for 50+ organizations & institutions like CSC, Cummins, Piramal, Ranbaxy, Lupin, Bridgestone, Michelin, Eicher, Maruti, Force, Idea, Airtel, NBHC, SBI, HDFC, L&T, Zydus, Thapar University, Banasthali, Narsee Monjee, Symbiosis, IIFM Bhopal, Azim Premji University, Nirma, Welingkar & IBS Hyderabad.
• Co-Founder and Director of CH EdgeMakers – a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ organization of central India for more than 24 years. He has trained close to 100 thousand students for ‘Soft Skills’ & ‘Entrance & Recruitment Preparation’ (www.ch-india.com).
• ‘Management Speaker and Orator’. Has featured at platforms like TEDx, IIM, IIT, NIT, CII, YI, CII-IWN, TCS, IMA, ICAI, ECA, ISHRAE, NEN, Sahodaya, Aditya Birla Education Academy, Round Table, LinkedIn Local, Rotary International, MP State’s Teachers’ Training, Academic Staff College DAVV, Police University Rajasthan, Police Training Academy Indore & more than 100 institutions.
• Member of noted associations and boards. Has been an ‘Executive Committee’ member of Indore Management Association. Associate Editor of IMA publications. Governing Council Member of Banasthali University’s SBBJ Centre for Research in MSME & Promotion of Entrepreneurship in Women. Executive Member of IMS, DAVV Alumni Association. Member of Rotary International’s ‘Group Study Exchange’ team to Minnesota, USA. ESI Coach with FWSA Australia.
Note: For glimpses of work, watch YouTube Channel ‘Dr. Sandeep Atre at Socialigence’.
