So, should I say yes to him?

“Permanent relationships should not be based on temporary emotions”…was my answer to one of my dear-ones when she asked me the ‘question in the title’.            

………………

When it comes to long-term relationships, rather than choosing someone who you like or love, it is important to choose someone who you can respect and trust.

I have always believed that ‘liking’ or ‘loving’ are over-hyped emotions. Actually, often they are superficial or circumstantial. For instance, you are likely to fall for anyone who is good-looking or sweet-talking or fun-loving or high-flying. Or in contrast, you are equally likely to fall for anyone who is none of these and still happened to ‘be there for you’ when you were vulnerable, impressionable, down, hurt or lonely. Yup! It is as simple as that…

On the other hand, respect and trust are old-school stalwarts. Well! Someone who invokes these emotions in you may not sweep you off your feet or become regular visitor in your dreams or give you a ‘hormonal high’. Yes! You may start on a neutral note with this person and may not fall for him straightaway, yet with passage of time, he would gradually rise in your eyes and you would begin to feel happily proud to be with him.

And then…one day…love will also arrive. And mind it! When love is felt, it is endearing. But when it is ‘arrived at’, it is enduring

………………

So, when it comes to long haul, don’t choose someone who makes you feel good. Choose someone who… is good. :-)

 

Note: By the way, the post applies to both genders. It’s just that I found it easier to write with only one set of pronouns.

About Sandeep Atre

Sandeep Atre, PhD: Dr. Sandeep Atre is the Founder-Director of Socialigence – an organization that specializes in the development of ‘Social Intelligence’ through its focused online-courses and customized workshops on ‘observing nonverbal behavior and understanding emotions for greater interpersonal effectiveness and self-management’. (www.socialigence.net) He is also one of the Founder-Directors of CH EdgeMakers - a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ group of Central India. In his career of close to one and a half decade, he has trained thousands of students, and professionals of more than fifty organizations and institutions. He has authored two books “Understanding Emotions Logically – A layman’s guide to the foundations of Social Intelligence” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior – An exhaustive guide to the essential skill of Social Intelligence” and has also been a noted blogger for last many years. He has also featured at various prestigious platforms as a ‘Management Speaker’ and ‘Motivational Orator’ and has also served on various advisory and editorial boards. He has earned repute for his value-additive innovation and holistic methodology in his domain.
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