Our Own Martyrs…

“Pleasure changes you prominently, but…pain changes you permanently”        


There is something about meeting new people at new places – people you have no history with…with whom you neither go back a long way nor look forward to have any lasting association. In short, no ‘equation’, and no pressure to have one! I felt the same lightness again for a while as I had joined a morning-hours yoga camp for a week.

But, of all, this one man looked apart, sadly…for obvious reasons. He must have been in mid-40s and it was apparent that a stroke of paralysis had affected one side of his body. He looked detached, restrained and sad. On one of the days, as I saw him struggling to wear his T-shirt properly, I tried to help him; to which he reacted vehemently. I was taken aback but could see where it was coming from; and thus withdrew silently at that time and kept behaving normally with him.

On the last day, as the trainer asked us to laugh aloud before the break, I could see that he just couldn’t figure out how to laugh. And as I wished him during the break, he said “Sorry! I reacted badly that day”. Then he paused and said “You know what…I have done so much for my people…borne so much for them. And now all of them are fine and look what I have done to myself”. Well! I couldn’t say anything in return but I guess he could see from my expression that I could sense how he was feeling.

Well! That was the last time I saw him. But what he said continued to haunt me. And more than the words, it was the pain in his voice and the look on his face that simply refused to leave me for hours. And it only made me realize that possibly the most painful of the sufferings in life is when we feel ‘betrayed’…‘taken advantage of’…‘left stranded’.


If possible…don’t let anyone dear to you feel that way.

About Sandeep Atre

Sandeep Atre, PhD: Dr. Sandeep Atre is the Founder-Director of Socialigence – an organization that specializes in the development of ‘Social Intelligence’ through its focused online-courses and customized workshops on ‘observing nonverbal behavior and understanding emotions for greater interpersonal effectiveness and self-management’. (www.socialigence.net) He is also one of the Founder-Directors of CH EdgeMakers - a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ group of Central India. In his career of close to one and a half decade, he has trained thousands of students, and professionals of more than fifty organizations and institutions. He has authored two books “Understanding Emotions Logically – A layman’s guide to the foundations of Social Intelligence” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior – An exhaustive guide to the essential skill of Social Intelligence” and has also been a noted blogger for last many years. He has also featured at various prestigious platforms as a ‘Management Speaker’ and ‘Motivational Orator’ and has also served on various advisory and editorial boards. He has earned repute for his value-additive innovation and holistic methodology in his domain.
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