I love you two…

“Can a person be in love with two persons without being disloyal”?

……….

Before I answer it, let me rewind the conversation…

She said… “One of the most unsettling things in life is when…“you love someone…don’t get him…and then go on to live life with someone who loves you equally”.

I said… “I understand. Because then you are left with all the reasons to miss the first one, while the new one gives you no reasons to hate him. And there you are… stuck between your past and present… alternately living in ‘today’ and phasing out in the ‘yesterday’”.

I looked at her, and she nodded, with the relief of being understood.

She said “You know what? I feel like a cheat. Like an impostor”. “It is wrong…unethical…isn’t it?”

I said “Well! You can’t bind emotions with ethics. They have a world of their own, untouched by the notions of ‘right or wrong’. And you can’t just walk out of a relationship and walk into a new one effortlessly. Heart keeps the score”.

I could see a hint of calmness returning to her face.

Then she said “Then what’s the solution?

I said “There is no solution. Because there is no problem. It is all natural. It is all organic”. “Just stay there and allow heart to deal with ‘the change and the consequent confusion’”. “And trust it. It eventually does get into the right place”.

She said “But why can’t heart listen to the mind?”

I said “Because, to change, heart doesn’t require reasons. It requires…time

……….

Coming back to our question… “Can one feel love for two persons equally”?

Well! Don’t mind, but it is mind’s question. And heart doesn’t deal in Q&A. If it feels something, it feels it. And it can’t stop feeling it just because you think it shouldn’t feel that way. So, let mind and heart settle this one between themselves…

And you just stand there, without taking sides. 

About Sandeep Atre

Sandeep Atre, PhD: Dr. Sandeep Atre is the Founder-Director of Socialigence – an organization that specializes in the development of ‘Social Intelligence’ through its focused online-courses and customized workshops on ‘observing nonverbal behavior and understanding emotions for greater interpersonal effectiveness and self-management’. (www.socialigence.net) He is also one of the Founder-Directors of CH EdgeMakers - a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ group of Central India. In his career of close to one and a half decade, he has trained thousands of students, and professionals of more than fifty organizations and institutions. He has authored two books “Understanding Emotions Logically – A layman’s guide to the foundations of Social Intelligence” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior – An exhaustive guide to the essential skill of Social Intelligence” and has also been a noted blogger for last many years. He has also featured at various prestigious platforms as a ‘Management Speaker’ and ‘Motivational Orator’ and has also served on various advisory and editorial boards. He has earned repute for his value-additive innovation and holistic methodology in his domain.
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