“Can a person be in love with two persons without being disloyal”?
……….
Before I answer it, let me rewind the conversation…
She said… “One of the most unsettling things in life is when…“you love someone…don’t get him…and then go on to live life with someone who loves you equally”.
I said… “I understand. Because then you are left with all the reasons to miss the first one, while the new one gives you no reasons to hate him. And there you are… stuck between your past and present… alternately living in ‘today’ and phasing out in the ‘yesterday’”.
I looked at her, and she nodded, with the relief of being understood.
She said “You know what? I feel like a cheat. Like an impostor”. “It is wrong…unethical…isn’t it?”
I said “Well! You can’t bind emotions with ethics. They have a world of their own, untouched by the notions of ‘right or wrong’. And you can’t just walk out of a relationship and walk into a new one effortlessly. Heart keeps the score”.
I could see a hint of calmness returning to her face.
Then she said “Then what’s the solution?”
I said “There is no solution. Because there is no problem. It is all natural. It is all organic”. “Just stay there and allow heart to deal with ‘the change and the consequent confusion’”. “And trust it. It eventually does get into the right place”.
She said “But why can’t heart listen to the mind?”
I said “Because, to change, heart doesn’t require reasons. It requires…time”
……….
Coming back to our question… “Can one feel love for two persons equally”?
Well! Don’t mind, but it is mind’s question. And heart doesn’t deal in Q&A. If it feels something, it feels it. And it can’t stop feeling it just because you think it shouldn’t feel that way. So, let mind and heart settle this one between themselves…
And you just stand there, without taking sides.
About Sandeep Atre
Dr. Sandeep Atre:
• Counseling Psychologist and an internationally recognized ‘Emotional & Social Intelligence’ Expert, with experience of more than two decades in helping people ‘sort out’ and ‘excel in’ intrapersonal and interpersonal matters. He holds a PhD in Management and a Master’s degree in Psychology (www.dratrecounsels.com).
• Founder of Socialigence – a venture specializing in development of ‘Social & Emotional Intelligence’ and its offshoot interpersonal skills through workshops and an award-winning online course rooted in neuroscience and psychology (www.socialigence.net).
• Author of two books related to his domain, namely - “Understanding Emotions Logically” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior”; and third book on various aspects of life, named “Two Paras of Everyday Wisdom”. Moreover, the collection of his Nazms and Ghazals is published as a book titled “Baat Jazbaat Ki”.
• Corporate Trainer, with experience of close to two decades. Has conducted 150+ workshops/sessions for 50+ organizations & institutions like CSC, Cummins, Piramal, Ranbaxy, Lupin, Bridgestone, Michelin, Eicher, Maruti, Force, Idea, Airtel, NBHC, SBI, HDFC, L&T, Zydus, Thapar University, Banasthali, Narsee Monjee, Symbiosis, IIFM Bhopal, Azim Premji University, Nirma, Welingkar & IBS Hyderabad.
• Co-Founder and Director of CH EdgeMakers – a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ organization of central India for more than 24 years. He has trained close to 100 thousand students for ‘Soft Skills’ & ‘Entrance & Recruitment Preparation’ (www.ch-india.com).
• ‘Management Speaker and Orator’. Has featured at platforms like TEDx, IIM, IIT, NIT, CII, YI, CII-IWN, TCS, IMA, ICAI, ECA, ISHRAE, NEN, Sahodaya, Aditya Birla Education Academy, Round Table, LinkedIn Local, Rotary International, MP State’s Teachers’ Training, Academic Staff College DAVV, Police University Rajasthan, Police Training Academy Indore & more than 100 institutions.
• Member of noted associations and boards. Has been an ‘Executive Committee’ member of Indore Management Association. Associate Editor of IMA publications. Governing Council Member of Banasthali University’s SBBJ Centre for Research in MSME & Promotion of Entrepreneurship in Women. Executive Member of IMS, DAVV Alumni Association. Member of Rotary International’s ‘Group Study Exchange’ team to Minnesota, USA. ESI Coach with FWSA Australia.
Note: For glimpses of work, watch YouTube Channel ‘Dr. Sandeep Atre at Socialigence’.
