Frozen Waters.

What ‘brings people close’ and what ‘keeps them together’ is different.


As she sat clueless in front of me, she knew she should have paid heed to my suggestion.

Yes! Though it all looked perfect between them, the cracks were visible to me quite a long time back (after all, I boast of teaching social intelligence). And I had given her hint about it but she had brushed it aside by saying “Everything is fine”. ‘Fine…’ Well! To me, that’s a dreaded word when it comes to relationships, because it is an ‘emotionally neutral’ word.

And while an emotionally-neutral state is often desirable in a relationship to bring stability to it, yet when ‘cool’ becomes ‘cold’, it is often just tip of the iceberg. The fact is that the real problems in relationships are not when one is interested or uninterested in the partner, but when one is ‘disinterested’. Yes! ‘Indifference is the silent corroder of relationships’, and it hurts without hurting.

But where did it go wrong? Well! It was one single giant mistake on their part. They did not realize that as time passed, they were changing, and so were their expectations from each other. Yet, they had got stuck in each other’s perceptions formed during the initial stage of their relationship. And because they still cared for each other, they avoided confronting and gradually started bypassing each other in the name of ‘allowing each other space’.

And that ‘space’ did them in. It kept getting larger, and soon they were two islands separated by frozen waters in between.


In relationships, one should always remember that ‘wishing that things shouldn’t change’ doesn’t mean…‘they aren’t changing’.

About Sandeep Atre

Sandeep Atre, PhD: Dr. Sandeep Atre is the Founder-Director of Socialigence – an organization that specializes in the development of ‘Social Intelligence’ through its focused online-courses and customized workshops on ‘observing nonverbal behavior and understanding emotions for greater interpersonal effectiveness and self-management’. ( He is also one of the Founder-Directors of CH EdgeMakers - a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ group of Central India. In his career of close to one and a half decade, he has trained thousands of students, and professionals of more than fifty organizations and institutions. He has authored two books “Understanding Emotions Logically – A layman’s guide to the foundations of Social Intelligence” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior – An exhaustive guide to the essential skill of Social Intelligence” and has also been a noted blogger for last many years. He has also featured at various prestigious platforms as a ‘Management Speaker’ and ‘Motivational Orator’ and has also served on various advisory and editorial boards. He has earned repute for his value-additive innovation and holistic methodology in his domain.
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