I always tell in my workshops…“Humans are ‘social animals’…only as long as they get good reasons to remain ‘social’”.
The workshop was on ‘social intelligence’, and in the first half, we had talked about how our brain functions and shapes our behavior. In the break, as we sat for lunch, training manager said that he wanted to discuss a very peculiar behavior of one of his juniors…
This man is sincere, well-behaved, and in almost complete control of himself! Everyone likes him and people in office have hardly had any complaint with him. Naturally, the manager was interested to know more about this person, so he tried to find out more about his personal life. And what he got to know shocked him. This person, who is a perfect gentleman in the office, has many vices outside it. In fact the manager told me “He can be found at almost all such condemned addresses where he can go without getting arrested or killed”. And then he added…“A strange man! Isn’t it?”
Well! I had a good laugh and then said…
“He is not strange. He is very intelligent! Mark Twain had once said ‘Everyone of us is a moon. We all have a dark side…’, so does he. It is just that I suspect that his dark side is relatively darker than most of the people. And I guess he knows it well. Now, throughout the day, he stays the gentleman you all know, and thus that side of his remains suppressed and unacceptable.
So, during the day, a lot of suffocation builds up inside him. He risks being divided ‘into two’ inside his own self if he keeps living in denial of a part which is an integral part of his personality. Now, the only way for him to retain sanity is to be with such people in whose presence he doesn’t feel disapproval for his darker side – where he doesn’t find that part being condemned, damned, or even evaluated.
I think what you are seeing as ‘imbalance’ is a perfect strategy to balance an unbalanced human self.”
Manager nodded in appreciation, and then added…“So, we shouldn’t stop him?”
I said “No! Absolutely not! And don’t mind but actually I was hoping if…
…you could share with me those addresses.” 🙂