I always tell in my workshops…“Humans are ‘social animals’…only as long as they get good reasons to remain ‘social’”.
……….
The workshop was on ‘social intelligence’, and in the first half, we had talked about how our brain functions and shapes our behavior. In the break, as we sat for lunch, training manager said that he wanted to discuss a very peculiar behavior of one of his juniors…
This man is sincere, well-behaved, and in almost complete control of himself! Everyone likes him and people in office have hardly had any complaint with him. Naturally, the manager was interested to know more about this person, so he tried to find out more about his personal life. And what he got to know shocked him. This person, who is a perfect gentleman in the office, has many vices outside it. In fact the manager told me “He can be found at almost all such condemned addresses where he can go without getting arrested or killed”. And then he added…“A strange man! Isn’t it?”
Well! I had a good laugh and then said…
“He is not strange. He is very intelligent! Mark Twain had once said ‘Everyone of us is a moon. We all have a dark side…’, so does he. It is just that I suspect that his dark side is relatively darker than most of the people. And I guess he knows it well. Now, throughout the day, he stays the gentleman you all know, and thus that side of his remains suppressed and unacceptable.
So, during the day, a lot of suffocation builds up inside him. He risks being divided ‘into two’ inside his own self if he keeps living in denial of a part which is an integral part of his personality. Now, the only way for him to retain sanity is to be with such people in whose presence he doesn’t feel disapproval for his darker side – where he doesn’t find that part being condemned, damned, or even evaluated.
I think what you are seeing as ‘imbalance’ is a perfect strategy to balance an unbalanced human self.”
……….
Manager nodded in appreciation, and then added…“So, we shouldn’t stop him?”
I said “No! Absolutely not! And don’t mind but actually I was hoping if…
…you could share with me those addresses.” 🙂
About Sandeep Atre
Dr. Sandeep Atre:
• Counseling Psychologist and an internationally recognized ‘Emotional & Social Intelligence’ Expert, with experience of more than two decades in helping people ‘sort out’ and ‘excel in’ intrapersonal and interpersonal matters. He holds a PhD in Management and a Master’s degree in Psychology (www.dratrecounsels.com).
• Founder of Socialigence – a venture specializing in development of ‘Social & Emotional Intelligence’ and its offshoot interpersonal skills through workshops and an award-winning online course rooted in neuroscience and psychology (www.socialigence.net).
• Author of two books related to his domain, namely - “Understanding Emotions Logically” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior”; and third book on various aspects of life, named “Two Paras of Everyday Wisdom”. Moreover, the collection of his Nazms and Ghazals is published as a book titled “Baat Jazbaat Ki”.
• Corporate Trainer, with experience of close to two decades. Has conducted 150+ workshops/sessions for 50+ organizations & institutions like CSC, Cummins, Piramal, Ranbaxy, Lupin, Bridgestone, Michelin, Eicher, Maruti, Force, Idea, Airtel, NBHC, SBI, HDFC, L&T, Zydus, Thapar University, Banasthali, Narsee Monjee, Symbiosis, IIFM Bhopal, Azim Premji University, Nirma, Welingkar & IBS Hyderabad.
• Co-Founder and Director of CH EdgeMakers – a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ organization of central India for more than 24 years. He has trained close to 100 thousand students for ‘Soft Skills’ & ‘Entrance & Recruitment Preparation’ (www.ch-india.com).
• ‘Management Speaker and Orator’. Has featured at platforms like TEDx, IIM, IIT, NIT, CII, YI, CII-IWN, TCS, IMA, ICAI, ECA, ISHRAE, NEN, Sahodaya, Aditya Birla Education Academy, Round Table, LinkedIn Local, Rotary International, MP State’s Teachers’ Training, Academic Staff College DAVV, Police University Rajasthan, Police Training Academy Indore & more than 100 institutions.
• Member of noted associations and boards. Has been an ‘Executive Committee’ member of Indore Management Association. Associate Editor of IMA publications. Governing Council Member of Banasthali University’s SBBJ Centre for Research in MSME & Promotion of Entrepreneurship in Women. Executive Member of IMS, DAVV Alumni Association. Member of Rotary International’s ‘Group Study Exchange’ team to Minnesota, USA. ESI Coach with FWSA Australia.
Note: For glimpses of work, watch YouTube Channel ‘Dr. Sandeep Atre at Socialigence’.
