She was my first crush…
When I look back…I realize…I fell in love with her the day I saw her…She was standing a few feet away from me, looking at the sky with slightly tilted neck…her hair falling on her face as if they wanted to touch her before the wind does…That angelic face and the childlike innocent smile it would crackle into every now and then… and above all, that unmatchable TWINKLE in her eyes…She truly looked “fresh out of a fairytale…”
Oh! I guess, I forgot to mention that I was watching the old classic ‘Ek musaafir Ek Haseena’ and the girl was Sadhana, the face of effervescence on the celluloid in 1960s…(little did I know that I was to feel the same again, years later).
Sadhna was a rare combination of grace and charm! She looked truly ANGELIC…until one day, when she caught an infection in her eyes (which today can be cured with a few tablets costing only a few rupees). She continued to act but the effect was pretty visible…and then she left movies…For next 30 odd years, no one saw her! The reason was that she hardly stepped out of her home…she never let anyone photograph her as she maintained that she wanted her fans to sustain only her image of beauty and grace…
…The other day, I was addressing a group of students in their teens… One of them suddenly said “Sir! You are so calm and composed…we cannot even imagine you being angry at any one even in our wildest dreams!” To which I said… “Oh! It is because you don’t know me much…Those who are close to me pretty-well know how average I can be on any odd day…I can have a really bad temper and then can easily get out of control” (Isn’t it amazing that we all save both our ‘best’ and ‘worst’ for the people closest to us! Well, more on this point some other day!)
I could see that that student looked visibly disappointed on my breaking the mould she had in her mind, of a probable role-model!
Well! The truth is… People don’t love you for who you are…they love you for who they think you are! … And the problem arises when you also start loving yourself for who they think you are! After all! While shaping others’ perception of you…you can’t discard your own reality!
Sorry young lady, for casting a shadow over your supposed role-model…but I can’t help it, because I sincerely believe Sadhana should have come out more often!
About Sandeep Atre
Dr. Sandeep Atre:
• Counseling Psychologist and an internationally recognized ‘Emotional & Social Intelligence’ Expert, with experience of more than two decades in helping people ‘sort out’ and ‘excel in’ intrapersonal and interpersonal matters. He holds a PhD in Management and a Master’s degree in Psychology (www.dratrecounsels.com).
• Founder of Socialigence – a venture specializing in development of ‘Social & Emotional Intelligence’ and its offshoot interpersonal skills through workshops and an award-winning online course rooted in neuroscience and psychology (www.socialigence.net).
• Author of two books related to his domain, namely - “Understanding Emotions Logically” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior”; and third book on various aspects of life, named “Two Paras of Everyday Wisdom”. Moreover, the collection of his Nazms and Ghazals is published as a book titled “Baat Jazbaat Ki”.
• Corporate Trainer, with experience of close to two decades. Has conducted 150+ workshops/sessions for 50+ organizations & institutions like CSC, Cummins, Piramal, Ranbaxy, Lupin, Bridgestone, Michelin, Eicher, Maruti, Force, Idea, Airtel, NBHC, SBI, HDFC, L&T, Zydus, Thapar University, Banasthali, Narsee Monjee, Symbiosis, IIFM Bhopal, Azim Premji University, Nirma, Welingkar & IBS Hyderabad.
• Co-Founder and Director of CH EdgeMakers – a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ organization of central India for more than 24 years. He has trained close to 100 thousand students for ‘Soft Skills’ & ‘Entrance & Recruitment Preparation’ (www.ch-india.com).
• ‘Management Speaker and Orator’. Has featured at platforms like TEDx, IIM, IIT, NIT, CII, YI, CII-IWN, TCS, IMA, ICAI, ECA, ISHRAE, NEN, Sahodaya, Aditya Birla Education Academy, Round Table, LinkedIn Local, Rotary International, MP State’s Teachers’ Training, Academic Staff College DAVV, Police University Rajasthan, Police Training Academy Indore & more than 100 institutions.
• Member of noted associations and boards. Has been an ‘Executive Committee’ member of Indore Management Association. Associate Editor of IMA publications. Governing Council Member of Banasthali University’s SBBJ Centre for Research in MSME & Promotion of Entrepreneurship in Women. Executive Member of IMS, DAVV Alumni Association. Member of Rotary International’s ‘Group Study Exchange’ team to Minnesota, USA. ESI Coach with FWSA Australia.
Note: For glimpses of work, watch YouTube Channel ‘Dr. Sandeep Atre at Socialigence’.
