The Ego-games!

“In life, sometimes, the battles are not fought violently…but just… silently”! 


The other day, I was buying fruits from a slightly elderly vendor. There was one other customer alongside. He was being a tad too choosy, and suddenly the fruit-vendor got visibly upset and said to him “I don’t want to sell it to you now. No! I really don’t! You go to another shop”.

Honestly, the man got caught off-guard, yet, in response, he used kinder words and even apologized, asking the fruit-vendor to forgive him and to not ruin the day for himself due to his act. The old man was defiant for a while but as the man remained insistent, he let him buy from his shop and by the end, even got mellowed down and also quite apologetic.

On our way back, the loved one accompanying me said “Well! The man really sacrificed his ego today”. In turn, I looked at her and said “He didn’t sacrifice his ego, he..defended it”.

I explained… “Had the man got angry or left the shop, the old man would have had it his way. But he didn’t let that happen. He didn’t let the old man decide how it would end. The old man might have started scripting the ‘beginning of the end’, but that man wrote the ‘end of the end’. And the best part was that the vendor could see the balance tilting in the man’s favor, but at no point did the man give him enough fuel to fight back. You could say that ‘man didn’t knock old man out, he simply evened him out. And he knows that too’”.


Well! “Don’t mistake politeness for ego-less-ness, as often, it is actually its more refined form, which becomes the decider in the subtle games of one-upmanship”.

About Sandeep Atre

Sandeep Atre, PhD: Dr. Sandeep Atre is the Founder-Director of Socialigence – an organization that specializes in the development of ‘Social Intelligence’ through its focused online-courses and customized workshops on ‘observing nonverbal behavior and understanding emotions for greater interpersonal effectiveness and self-management’. ( He is also one of the Founder-Directors of CH EdgeMakers - a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ group of Central India. In his career of close to one and a half decade, he has trained thousands of students, and professionals of more than fifty organizations and institutions. He has authored two books “Understanding Emotions Logically – A layman’s guide to the foundations of Social Intelligence” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior – An exhaustive guide to the essential skill of Social Intelligence” and has also been a noted blogger for last many years. He has also featured at various prestigious platforms as a ‘Management Speaker’ and ‘Motivational Orator’ and has also served on various advisory and editorial boards. He has earned repute for his value-additive innovation and holistic methodology in his domain.
This entry was posted in A Person's Musings, A Trainer's Diary. Bookmark the permalink.