enough is enough!

A peculiar feeling which most of us have is that…


…we are happy, but not happy enough… we are successful, but not successful enough… we are known, but not known enough… we have come a long way, but not far enough… we earn decent, but not decent enough… we look good, but not good enough… we feel fine, but not fine enough… we are doing well, but not well enough…

Well! That’s not the problem. The problem is that we don’t understand that…


nothing is ever ‘enough’.

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You can’t understand how it feels…

Sometimes it takes all you’ve got…to keep the wolves away.                 


In the world around us, there are many people who are sitting on a tragedy from past, a trauma of some sorts – a misfortune…a betrayal…or a mistake. Beneath the façade of ‘all is well now’, the truth is that they still struggle to maintain normalness inside. There are nights when the ghosts from the past scare their sleep away, and there are mornings when they have to literally pull themselves out of bed to enter the world outside their rooms.

They are always on the verge of slipping back into the valleys which they have climbed breathlessly to come to the ground. Every setback sets them back, and every comment of criticism sends them back into the whirls of self-pity. Their experiences have made them oversensitive, and the distrust they feel because of ‘being let-down so often’ by both man & god has made them vulnerable to trusting wrong people again. It is a daily struggle that will only end with life.

Ironically, those who are ‘lucky to have a normal life till now’ can never understand how it feels.


And unfortunately…nor can the sufferers ever tell.

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Have you seen my ‘me’ recently?

Where is my…‘me’?                   


Have you seen it? Because I haven’t for a while…

Probably I forgot it at home when I had to be the ‘mature’ one to compensate for the stubborn ones around, or possibly lost it at the office when I had to align with others for maintaining stability, or maybe left it on the sofa when I was bearing the over-smart ones in the name of etiquette, or perhaps put it under the pillow when I got up tired and quietly began the day’s chores after a sleepless night wrestling with my own mind.

Yes! I guess it must be at one of those places, or may be a part of it at each one of them.

Well! If you find it somewhere then…


still please don’t bring it back…as I am trying to learn to live without it.

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Can I love you for some time?

Sometimes…the feeling of love simply rises above concepts of time and space


As I boarded the plane after conducting a 2-day training program, all I wanted was to doze off on my window seat…without overloading my senses with any new information from my surroundings. However, I couldn’t help but notice a family walking through the aisle.

A girl in her late teens came towards the seat next to me. She was with her parents. Her mother was sheepish and her father looked ill, with one tube hanging from wrist and another one attached to his nose. The girl and her mother sat next to me, and her father sat on the aisle seat of the other column.

The girl seemed awkward, embarrassed, concerned, irritatedall at the same time. It was understandable because her father’s illness seemed difficult and a relatively longer one, and at an age which only comes once in life, the role that she was playing for the family must have taken a toll on her.

And then appeared one of the crew-members! A good-looking boy in his early twenties – well dressed, well-behaved, and with an endearing smile coming out of genuine warmth. In short, just the kind of guy a girl would want to invite home to meet her parents.

That boy helped her father adjust the seat, helped her mother tie the seat belt, put the medical reports properly in a bag, brought two extra puke-bags for the man in case he felt nausea, and thrice helped her mother in ‘taking something out of’ and ‘putting something into’ a bag in the overhead compartment.

Suddenly the girl’s mood lifted. She started talking to her mother in a more loving tone, and asked her father in a caring way if all was well! And of course, she also could not get her eyes off that boy throughout the flight. With a smile that refused to go away, she kept looking at him every now and then, and gushed whenever he looked back at her or smiled back. She visibly looked…in love!

Well! As I got down the stairs of the plane, I was thinking about how there are times when we fall in love literally on the flywith no desire to be loved back or to be in a relation… with a person whose name we might not know or whose number we can’t ask… for the positive vibes that we receive and the sense of security we feel in his or her presence.


All we know is that for some moments we feel good… light… and beautiful because of that person.

And that’s enough. 🙂

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Believe me or not!

Sometimes, the ‘stand you take’ helps you become who you are.                 


Years back, a conversation had taken place between me and one of my older relatives. She was referring to what one of my other relatives was saying about me to others. Though even today, I am far from being totally sorted; still when I look back, I think that it was one of the defining moments in my approach towards life. It went roughly like this (of course the original one was in Hindi)

She: “Do you know he is saying bad things about you?”

I: “He must be. That’s why you are mentioning it”.

She: “But don’t you feel a need to defend yourself?”

I: “No”

She: “Why? Then how would we come to know your side of the story?”

I: “I know my side of the story, that’s enough. Why should everyone know it? And unless what he is saying has grave implications, I don’t find a reason to defend or clarify. After all, I can’t address everything said about me. He has all the right to tell his side of the story, and I respect his right”.  

She: “Then whom should we believe?”


“That’s your right to decide, and I will respect it as well”I said.

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Count your blessings!

In life, ‘how you feel’ depends on ‘what you focus on’!                 


In your world, there will always be people who won’t like you much. They will make you feel small. They will not acknowledge or respond. They will ignore or neglect. They will criticize and even vilify. They will give wry smiles or no smiles at all. They will compare you and even demean. They will undermine your potential and exaggerate your flaws. They will play games. They will target you and will not miss any chance to single you out.

And then there will always be people who will like you. They will make you feel good about yourself. They will expect good from you and will wish good for you. They will forget your failures and forgive your mistakes. They will smile at you and will talk nice about you behind your back. They will refer opportunities to you and will spread the good word. They will remind you of your glory and will encourage you for excellence.


The best way to get fulfillment, happiness and success in life is to stay cordial towards first type of people and focus on second type of people. 🙂

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Can I please say…nothing.

There are times when you don’t want to say anything to anyone…                 


You don’t want to complain…or to demand… or to disagree… or to question… or to object… or to discuss… or to explain… or to express.

You don’t even want anyone to understand…or to empathize…or to help…or to reach out…or to care…or to realize…or to apologize…or to believe…or to even know.


You just want to be quiet and alone…until…it dies down inside on its own. 🙂

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Everybody has a past…

The most peculiar thing about relationships is that “two persons with different pasts come together to build a common future”.                 


And for most people, that past doesn’t pass away. It has shaped their personalities…it has influenced their perceptions…it must be governing their behavior…and it will interfere in their choices. Yes! That past seldom dies a timely death, and even if people try to kill it with reasoning, it reincarnates in various forms whenever the persons are vulnerable.

Well! The only way to counter past is that both persons envision a mutual future with such faith and in such details that the whole synergy of co-creation overpowers the residual effects of past by a significant margin. This requires both persons to make an equally strong commitment towards letting go of past and envisaging a future, rooted in present.

Both persons need to think, talk, plan, discuss disagreements, persuade logically, create middle-paths and keep doing all this regularly…


…until years that have gone by are outnumbered by years being looked forward to. 🙂

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When depression haunts a dear one…

Helping someone get over sadness is an effort…but helping someone overcome depression is a process.                 


Sadness is different from depression. When you lose something or someone or simply lose, then it is natural to be sad and it does run its due course. However, depression is slightly different. A person begins to get depressed due to one of the three reasons…when he feels lonely, when he feels there is nothing good about him, or when he feels he is stuck and has no future.

And thus there are obvious ways to address these three reasons – by kindling his belief in your unconditional support…by pointing-out and highlighting his good aspects…and by giving hope and helping him chart out a path for future. And there are times when you have to do all three simultaneously, because depression is additive – it runs in a loop.


That’s why it is important to ‘not let a person go in depression’ rather than to ‘try and get one out of it’.


PS: The post is for both genders. It is just that I found it comfortable to write with one pronoun.

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Before you say…I do!

They rightly say… “First you make choices, and then choices make you”!              


Moreover, sometimes you can’t see the chain of consequences a choice has. For instance, you don’t realize but one of the most important choices you will ever make is when you will say…“I do”. Yes! The day you choose your life-partner, in a way, you also choose

…your future family-structure…your future career-pattern…the sort of (and size of) friend circle you will have…the kind of (and number of) kids you will have…the kind of schedule you will follow…the kind of neighborhood you will live in…the kind of places you will visit…the kind of things you will spend your money on…the kind of health-issues you will face…and even the life-span you will have, and the amount of ‘life’ you will have in it.


So, before you say ‘I do’, do remember that you are making not just a choice for your life, but also the choice of your life. 🙂

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