The most peculiar thing about relationships is that “two persons with different pasts come together to build a common future”.
And for most people, that past doesn’t pass away. It has shaped their personalities…it has influenced their perceptions…it must be governing their behavior…and it will interfere in their choices. Yes! That past seldom dies a timely death, and even if people try to kill it with reasoning, it reincarnates in various forms whenever the persons are vulnerable.
Well! The only way to counter past is that both persons envision a mutual future with such faith and in such details that the whole synergy of co-creation overpowers the residual effects of past by a significant margin. This requires both persons to make an equally strong commitment towards letting go of past and envisaging a future, rooted in present.
Both persons need to think, talk, plan, discuss disagreements, persuade logically, create middle-paths and keep doing all this regularly…
…until years that have gone by are outnumbered by years being looked forward to. 🙂