Yet another person falls prey to this sin-to-self! …
While driving to work, heard an RJ talking about a person who committed suicide because of an unreciprocated aka one-sided love…I have always found this emotion very intriguing…
My first encounter with it was in my school days…I and Samish (name changed for sanctity) were great buddies. More so, as we were not only school friends but also lived in the same colony. Incidentally… we both liked a girl who was a year junior to us and lived in our colony (Champions start early!!).
Our idea of falling in love was pretty innocent – Waiting for a glimpse of her… trying to find (or create) occasions for the same… reading her gestures as clues…and listening to songs that justified & endorsed our emotions! And interestingly…we neither talked to her… nor talked to anyone else about her (somewhere we respected our emotions even at that age)!
This went for a couple of years, and when it was time for our farewell, we decided that we should now at least talk to her. I, being the smarter one (although he was more handsome), was given the responsibility to walk to her in lunch-break; while Sam would hang around the place (proving that he was also the smarter one)!
Now…this is how the conversation went (actually in Hindi)…
I: Hi!
She: Hello!
I: How are you?
She: Fine!
I: Well! Can I talk to you for a minute?
She: I am getting late!
I: Just wanted to ask you something.
She: What?
I: Do you know that two boys look at you?
She: Yes!
I: Who?
She: Well! You and Samish Bhaiyya!!!
…and she walked away…
I don’t quite remember what happened in the next few minutes, because I was laughing like nuts…rolling all over the ground…pointing at Samish…while he was trying to figure out why I was laughing out so hysterically…!!!! Well, what caused it was not the disappointment that she didn’t respond well, but comical-irony that she called Samish ‘Bhaiyyyyyyyaaaaa’!!!
That day, although I was consoled that at least she had spared me of that ‘cruel’ word and had crowned Samish with that unenviable glory… we did realize a fact that we didn’t really matter much to her (at least, certainly not in ‘that’ sense…)!
Moreover, we also realized that ‘love’ is essentially a mutual emotion! When it is one-sided then it means that either you lack “a vision for yourself, to dedicate yourself to” or have “a poor self-esteem, desperate to be uplifted via someone”! The same feeling is immensely beautiful, positive & supportive, if both persons share equal intensity, faith & commitment!
Well! So while one-sidedness is alright (and natural) if you like, appreciate, admire, idolize or even ‘have a crush on’ someone…yet, when it comes to ‘love’, “Someone…Somewhere is made for you! So wait…!”
Remember! Just the way it is perfectly acceptable for you to have feelings towards people (and even to express them dignifiedly)… it should be perfectly respectable for you if they don’t have the same…
Give people all the reasons to be with you…and respect their right to still reject! (…and remember! they are rejecting the reasons, not you!)
PS: A lot more happened after that school-incident but that’s a different story…By the way, let me confess! In the heart of hearts, I know…she liked Samish more!
