Only someone imperfect can be loved… Perfection only intimidates!
Isn’t it strange that when you are totally dependent on your mother then she keeps complaining that ‘She is overburdened’ and when you become independent, she complains ‘Now, nobody needs her…’! Well! Shouldn’t sound strange…
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The truth is…‘people love you in a package-deal’! They are as much in love with your flaws as with your qualities! In fact, your flaws help them feel needed, and also make them feel good about themselves (that they love you in spite of them)…
So when they say…“You don’t keep your room clean!”, “Can’t you take spoon on your own”, “Why did you leave lights on?”, “Keep your clothes at the right place!”, “You again forgot our special day!”, “Why don’t you come on time”, “Why do I have to always pay for our tea?”, “Why do you speak so loud?”…
Or “Why do you call my nick-name in front of everyone?”, “You forgot to call me!”, “Why do you drive so fast?”, “Where did you keep the keys?”, “Don’t use that word again!”, “Again the same song!”, “Why same color?”, “How boring?” etc. etc… then they are actually falling more in love with you!
That’s why, when you remove those flaws… then, to them it only reads as ‘you have changed’! And…they simply don’t like that (even if it is for better)! So, don’t worry about those little niggles! They make you imperfect…and thus…lovable!
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In a world where the head cleverly maintains ‘associations’, the heart has reserved its rights on ‘relationships’! And heart doesn’t operate through intelligence, it works with intensity! That’s why it has better measure of magnitude and lesser sense of direction…
But it is special…in the sense that it doesn’t try to change the one it loves…!
PS: Your ‘flaws’ need to be harmless, and must not hurt the person beyond the permissible limits! Or else, the head takes over and becomes defensive! On this thin thread…lie relationships!
About Sandeep Atre
Dr. Sandeep Atre:
• Counseling Psychologist and an internationally recognized ‘Emotional & Social Intelligence’ Expert, with experience of more than two decades in helping people ‘sort out’ and ‘excel in’ intrapersonal and interpersonal matters. He holds a PhD in Management and a Master’s degree in Psychology (www.dratrecounsels.com).
• Founder of Socialigence – a venture specializing in development of ‘Social & Emotional Intelligence’ and its offshoot interpersonal skills through workshops and an award-winning online course rooted in neuroscience and psychology (www.socialigence.net).
• Author of two books related to his domain, namely - “Understanding Emotions Logically” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior”; and third book on various aspects of life, named “Two Paras of Everyday Wisdom”. Moreover, the collection of his Nazms and Ghazals is published as a book titled “Baat Jazbaat Ki”.
• Corporate Trainer, with experience of close to two decades. Has conducted 150+ workshops/sessions for 50+ organizations & institutions like CSC, Cummins, Piramal, Ranbaxy, Lupin, Bridgestone, Michelin, Eicher, Maruti, Force, Idea, Airtel, NBHC, SBI, HDFC, L&T, Zydus, Thapar University, Banasthali, Narsee Monjee, Symbiosis, IIFM Bhopal, Azim Premji University, Nirma, Welingkar & IBS Hyderabad.
• Co-Founder and Director of CH EdgeMakers – a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ organization of central India for more than 24 years. He has trained close to 100 thousand students for ‘Soft Skills’ & ‘Entrance & Recruitment Preparation’ (www.ch-india.com).
• ‘Management Speaker and Orator’. Has featured at platforms like TEDx, IIM, IIT, NIT, CII, YI, CII-IWN, TCS, IMA, ICAI, ECA, ISHRAE, NEN, Sahodaya, Aditya Birla Education Academy, Round Table, LinkedIn Local, Rotary International, MP State’s Teachers’ Training, Academic Staff College DAVV, Police University Rajasthan, Police Training Academy Indore & more than 100 institutions.
• Member of noted associations and boards. Has been an ‘Executive Committee’ member of Indore Management Association. Associate Editor of IMA publications. Governing Council Member of Banasthali University’s SBBJ Centre for Research in MSME & Promotion of Entrepreneurship in Women. Executive Member of IMS, DAVV Alumni Association. Member of Rotary International’s ‘Group Study Exchange’ team to Minnesota, USA. ESI Coach with FWSA Australia.
Note: For glimpses of work, watch YouTube Channel ‘Dr. Sandeep Atre at Socialigence’.
