“People always use me………….”!!! someone said during a session yesterday.
…this is probably the most frequent complaint I’ve heard from people in all spheres of life.
And my first response to it has been… “It’s great! This proves that you are useful otherwise it would mean that you are useless”!!!
…………….
Well! The world is all about Give & Take…it’s crude but true!
There are parents availing kids to fulfill their own unfulfilled ambitions… lovers cajoling beloveds into uplifting their own self-esteems…bosses cornering juniors for pumping their own egos…and even Gods (or God-men) brainwashing devotees into hailing themselves!
… and in the same frame…
There are kids blackmailing parents to fulfill their own demands… beloveds sweet-talking lovers into their image-building… subordinates puffing bosses for currying favors…and even devotees using God-pictures to save walls from being spitted upon!
…It’s always hard to tell who’s using whom! (‘used’ may also be the ‘user’)
So, these are ways of the world…and who are you and I to judge what’s fair? Don’t overanalyze…accept it! (as long as it is ‘give & take’…not just ‘give & give’!)
……………
And also see it this way! If left to ourselves, we would never stretch ourselves beyond our comfort. So these people, who have used us, have actually helped us discover our utility. They helped us find our limits by pushing us to them! The truth is…we learn more from what we have not chosen…as, by choice we would only choose what resembles us! So if you are being used then don’t complain…get used to it! … Just take care that you aren’t being exploited!
But now the question is… how to decide whether you are being used or exploited?
Well…! The thumb-rule is… if you have been waking up feeling used for too many days in a row…this is it!
…after all, it was okay being used…but not feeling that way!
PS: What to do then? Well! Use your right to be used for the right use…time to Move On!
About Sandeep Atre
Dr. Sandeep Atre:
• Counseling Psychologist and an internationally recognized ‘Emotional & Social Intelligence’ Expert, with experience of more than two decades in helping people ‘sort out’ and ‘excel in’ intrapersonal and interpersonal matters. He holds a PhD in Management and a Master’s degree in Psychology (www.dratrecounsels.com).
• Founder of Socialigence – a venture specializing in development of ‘Social & Emotional Intelligence’ and its offshoot interpersonal skills through workshops and an award-winning online course rooted in neuroscience and psychology (www.socialigence.net).
• Author of two books related to his domain, namely - “Understanding Emotions Logically” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior”; and third book on various aspects of life, named “Two Paras of Everyday Wisdom”. Moreover, the collection of his Nazms and Ghazals is published as a book titled “Baat Jazbaat Ki”.
• Corporate Trainer, with experience of close to two decades. Has conducted 150+ workshops/sessions for 50+ organizations & institutions like CSC, Cummins, Piramal, Ranbaxy, Lupin, Bridgestone, Michelin, Eicher, Maruti, Force, Idea, Airtel, NBHC, SBI, HDFC, L&T, Zydus, Thapar University, Banasthali, Narsee Monjee, Symbiosis, IIFM Bhopal, Azim Premji University, Nirma, Welingkar & IBS Hyderabad.
• Co-Founder and Director of CH EdgeMakers – a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ organization of central India for more than 24 years. He has trained close to 100 thousand students for ‘Soft Skills’ & ‘Entrance & Recruitment Preparation’ (www.ch-india.com).
• ‘Management Speaker and Orator’. Has featured at platforms like TEDx, IIM, IIT, NIT, CII, YI, CII-IWN, TCS, IMA, ICAI, ECA, ISHRAE, NEN, Sahodaya, Aditya Birla Education Academy, Round Table, LinkedIn Local, Rotary International, MP State’s Teachers’ Training, Academic Staff College DAVV, Police University Rajasthan, Police Training Academy Indore & more than 100 institutions.
• Member of noted associations and boards. Has been an ‘Executive Committee’ member of Indore Management Association. Associate Editor of IMA publications. Governing Council Member of Banasthali University’s SBBJ Centre for Research in MSME & Promotion of Entrepreneurship in Women. Executive Member of IMS, DAVV Alumni Association. Member of Rotary International’s ‘Group Study Exchange’ team to Minnesota, USA. ESI Coach with FWSA Australia.
Note: For glimpses of work, watch YouTube Channel ‘Dr. Sandeep Atre at Socialigence’.
