In last two years, the only Khan who has not been criticized by media or hated by critics or disliked by audience or compared with colleagues is…
Fardeen Khan!
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The other day, someone asked in a training-session… How to deal with criticism”?
Well! The fact is that the most of what we feel, think, say or do is not our own! It is a result of years of social programming we have gone through…In other words ‘Upbringing & Education’! So, need of approval is as basic a need as food, shelter or clothes.
Now, suppose that I write something new! Now, actually I am myself not completely sure of how ‘good’ it is (no one ever can be)! Assume that now someone says it is good…then others also say so…then more…even more…and so on! With each nod, my confidence in ‘being good’ grows…my self-image improves! I start enjoying it!!! So far, so good…
Imagine that now suddenly someone says “It’s not good”! Now, the moment he says it, the original doubt that I had in myself comes back to fore! As a result, now a conflict begins inside me, between ‘My original doubting-self’ Vs. ‘My recently discovered confident-self’!
My first reaction will be to convince myself that I am still good…so I will just ignore it! If more voices join the opposition then I’ll become defensive…If equal number starts saying so then I’ll turn aggressive…If majority starts agreeing then I will get depressed…and if everyone starts saying it then I will simply give up! (My doubting-self has WON!)
So we hate critics not for their opinions, but for triggering our dormant insecurities!
Thus… The best way to deal with criticism is not by taking the criticism lightly…but by taking Praise less-seriously!
As they say…Take your work seriously, and yourself lightly!!
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And if still criticism bothers you……then just remind yourself that on any day if you would ask Fardeen Khan then he would rather prefer to be criticized…than ignored!
PS: So, from criticism…LEARN = Listen + Evaluate + Apply + Review + Navigate…© Sandeep Atre : -) : -)
About Sandeep Atre
Dr. Sandeep Atre:
• Counseling Psychologist and an internationally recognized ‘Emotional & Social Intelligence’ Expert, with experience of more than two decades in helping people ‘sort out’ and ‘excel in’ intrapersonal and interpersonal matters. He holds a PhD in Management and a Master’s degree in Psychology (www.dratrecounsels.com).
• Founder of Socialigence – a venture specializing in development of ‘Social & Emotional Intelligence’ and its offshoot interpersonal skills through workshops and an award-winning online course rooted in neuroscience and psychology (www.socialigence.net).
• Author of two books related to his domain, namely - “Understanding Emotions Logically” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior”; and third book on various aspects of life, named “Two Paras of Everyday Wisdom”. Moreover, the collection of his Nazms and Ghazals is published as a book titled “Baat Jazbaat Ki”.
• Corporate Trainer, with experience of close to two decades. Has conducted 150+ workshops/sessions for 50+ organizations & institutions like CSC, Cummins, Piramal, Ranbaxy, Lupin, Bridgestone, Michelin, Eicher, Maruti, Force, Idea, Airtel, NBHC, SBI, HDFC, L&T, Zydus, Thapar University, Banasthali, Narsee Monjee, Symbiosis, IIFM Bhopal, Azim Premji University, Nirma, Welingkar & IBS Hyderabad.
• Co-Founder and Director of CH EdgeMakers – a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ organization of central India for more than 24 years. He has trained close to 100 thousand students for ‘Soft Skills’ & ‘Entrance & Recruitment Preparation’ (www.ch-india.com).
• ‘Management Speaker and Orator’. Has featured at platforms like TEDx, IIM, IIT, NIT, CII, YI, CII-IWN, TCS, IMA, ICAI, ECA, ISHRAE, NEN, Sahodaya, Aditya Birla Education Academy, Round Table, LinkedIn Local, Rotary International, MP State’s Teachers’ Training, Academic Staff College DAVV, Police University Rajasthan, Police Training Academy Indore & more than 100 institutions.
• Member of noted associations and boards. Has been an ‘Executive Committee’ member of Indore Management Association. Associate Editor of IMA publications. Governing Council Member of Banasthali University’s SBBJ Centre for Research in MSME & Promotion of Entrepreneurship in Women. Executive Member of IMS, DAVV Alumni Association. Member of Rotary International’s ‘Group Study Exchange’ team to Minnesota, USA. ESI Coach with FWSA Australia.
Note: For glimpses of work, watch YouTube Channel ‘Dr. Sandeep Atre at Socialigence’.
