I have always believed that in relationships, “when your past flows into your present…it takes your future by a storm”.
………………
She looked at me and said “yesterday, I was with him. I knew he needed me”.
I said “I understand”.
She said “I know you won’t be judgmental. But I am messed up in my head. Please question me on behalf of all of them out there, because I want to hear my own answers aloud”.
I said “But even from their standards, it is fine. For old times’ sake, one has to stay friendly with one’s past”.
She said “No! I won’t lie to you. When we were together, we were in the same emotional state we used to be in”.
Now sounding concerned, I said “But come on! You have a lot to lose now. You have created a ‘present’ for yourself with a lot of effort. Why hurt the balance by peeping into past?”
She said “You can’t just dissect your past so clinically. I mean, after all, it is a part of you”.
I looked at her and said “Then, let me ask their favorite question. How would you feel if your present does the same to you? Would it be acceptable to you?”
She looked at me and said “I don’t know. I really don’t know. Honestly. I don’t have an answer”.
Then she stayed quiet with her head down…
I broke the silence “I can understand that there must be so many questions going on in your head”.
She looked up, then at me, and said “Not many. Just one! I know that it looks wrong from every single angle. But then…
…‘Why did it feel so right?’”
………………
Well! In order to maintain the stability of our social setup, we humans have tried to categorize everything as ‘black or white’.
But then, every now and then, ‘Gray’ emerges and reminds us that while society is a concept…individual is a reality.
About Sandeep Atre
Dr. Sandeep Atre:
• Counseling Psychologist and an internationally recognized ‘Emotional & Social Intelligence’ Expert, with experience of more than two decades in helping people ‘sort out’ and ‘excel in’ intrapersonal and interpersonal matters. He holds a PhD in Management and a Master’s degree in Psychology (www.dratrecounsels.com).
• Founder of Socialigence – a venture specializing in development of ‘Social & Emotional Intelligence’ and its offshoot interpersonal skills through workshops and an award-winning online course rooted in neuroscience and psychology (www.socialigence.net).
• Author of two books related to his domain, namely - “Understanding Emotions Logically” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior”; and third book on various aspects of life, named “Two Paras of Everyday Wisdom”. Moreover, the collection of his Nazms and Ghazals is published as a book titled “Baat Jazbaat Ki”.
• Corporate Trainer, with experience of close to two decades. Has conducted 150+ workshops/sessions for 50+ organizations & institutions like CSC, Cummins, Piramal, Ranbaxy, Lupin, Bridgestone, Michelin, Eicher, Maruti, Force, Idea, Airtel, NBHC, SBI, HDFC, L&T, Zydus, Thapar University, Banasthali, Narsee Monjee, Symbiosis, IIFM Bhopal, Azim Premji University, Nirma, Welingkar & IBS Hyderabad.
• Co-Founder and Director of CH EdgeMakers – a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ organization of central India for more than 24 years. He has trained close to 100 thousand students for ‘Soft Skills’ & ‘Entrance & Recruitment Preparation’ (www.ch-india.com).
• ‘Management Speaker and Orator’. Has featured at platforms like TEDx, IIM, IIT, NIT, CII, YI, CII-IWN, TCS, IMA, ICAI, ECA, ISHRAE, NEN, Sahodaya, Aditya Birla Education Academy, Round Table, LinkedIn Local, Rotary International, MP State’s Teachers’ Training, Academic Staff College DAVV, Police University Rajasthan, Police Training Academy Indore & more than 100 institutions.
• Member of noted associations and boards. Has been an ‘Executive Committee’ member of Indore Management Association. Associate Editor of IMA publications. Governing Council Member of Banasthali University’s SBBJ Centre for Research in MSME & Promotion of Entrepreneurship in Women. Executive Member of IMS, DAVV Alumni Association. Member of Rotary International’s ‘Group Study Exchange’ team to Minnesota, USA. ESI Coach with FWSA Australia.
Note: For glimpses of work, watch YouTube Channel ‘Dr. Sandeep Atre at Socialigence’.
