Yesterday, one of my near-ones asked me “Don’t you feel bad that you have done so much for so many people and still they don’t give you the due credit”!
My answer was “Well! So far, one of my biggest achievements in life is not to help so many people succeed… but to help them believe that they succeeded because of themselves…”!
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Friedrich Nietzsche once said “Gratitude is a burden…and Revenge is a Pleasure”! I can’t say it better…!
Somewhere inside, every person is self-centered and would always use every possible opportunity to raise his self-esteem. Now, when you extend a favor to someone then just observe his body-language! His shoulders drop, spine bows, neck bends, voice wavers, volume lessens, eyes look downwards… in all, his whole being gets shrunk!
In such moments, you may like him more but the truth is… he hates himself! And when someone hates himself in your presence then sooner or later he begins to hate you! So then, he either looks for the first chance to unburden himself by returning the favor, or takes a subconscious revenge by keeping exploiting you through flattery! And if neither is possible…he simply avoids you!
In any case, it is not healthy for him, because it lowers his morale or corrupts his moral! So to avoid this vicious downward spiral and to do genuine good to people, it is ‘Best’ to help them believe that they succeeded because of themselves…This would give them the confidence to aspire for higher & greater…
Well! The only side-effect of this is that you would be deprived of a chance to pamper your own ego, but then I sincerely believe in the saying…‘A man can contribute a lot to the world if he doesn’t care…who gets the credit’!
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By the way, she also asked me “But then why do you keep giving credit to people who helped you succeed?”
My answer was… “Because I would rather prefer to bear the burden of gratitude than the pinch of conscience”!
About Sandeep Atre
Dr. Sandeep Atre:
• Counseling Psychologist and an internationally recognized ‘Emotional & Social Intelligence’ Expert, with experience of more than two decades in helping people ‘sort out’ and ‘excel in’ intrapersonal and interpersonal matters. He holds a PhD in Management and a Master’s degree in Psychology (www.dratrecounsels.com).
• Founder of Socialigence – a venture specializing in development of ‘Social & Emotional Intelligence’ and its offshoot interpersonal skills through workshops and an award-winning online course rooted in neuroscience and psychology (www.socialigence.net).
• Author of two books related to his domain, namely - “Understanding Emotions Logically” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior”; and third book on various aspects of life, named “Two Paras of Everyday Wisdom”. Moreover, the collection of his Nazms and Ghazals is published as a book titled “Baat Jazbaat Ki”.
• Corporate Trainer, with experience of close to two decades. Has conducted 150+ workshops/sessions for 50+ organizations & institutions like CSC, Cummins, Piramal, Ranbaxy, Lupin, Bridgestone, Michelin, Eicher, Maruti, Force, Idea, Airtel, NBHC, SBI, HDFC, L&T, Zydus, Thapar University, Banasthali, Narsee Monjee, Symbiosis, IIFM Bhopal, Azim Premji University, Nirma, Welingkar & IBS Hyderabad.
• Co-Founder and Director of CH EdgeMakers – a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ organization of central India for more than 24 years. He has trained close to 100 thousand students for ‘Soft Skills’ & ‘Entrance & Recruitment Preparation’ (www.ch-india.com).
• ‘Management Speaker and Orator’. Has featured at platforms like TEDx, IIM, IIT, NIT, CII, YI, CII-IWN, TCS, IMA, ICAI, ECA, ISHRAE, NEN, Sahodaya, Aditya Birla Education Academy, Round Table, LinkedIn Local, Rotary International, MP State’s Teachers’ Training, Academic Staff College DAVV, Police University Rajasthan, Police Training Academy Indore & more than 100 institutions.
• Member of noted associations and boards. Has been an ‘Executive Committee’ member of Indore Management Association. Associate Editor of IMA publications. Governing Council Member of Banasthali University’s SBBJ Centre for Research in MSME & Promotion of Entrepreneurship in Women. Executive Member of IMS, DAVV Alumni Association. Member of Rotary International’s ‘Group Study Exchange’ team to Minnesota, USA. ESI Coach with FWSA Australia.
Note: For glimpses of work, watch YouTube Channel ‘Dr. Sandeep Atre at Socialigence’.
