Sometimes the best thing you can do for ‘someone dear’ is to simply… wait.
……….
He is one of my closest friends, and there is a development in his life that he has not shared with even his closest people. It’s not that he doesn’t want to share. He has been looking for reasons to meet me or talk to me. And often he mentions it and then he stops awkwardly or fidgets or stammers or simply changes the topic.
The interesting part is that I already know what he wants to share. So when one of my loved ones asked me “Why don’t you directly ask him about it or tell him that you already know”? I said “No, I will wait”.
So why am I waiting? The reason is a deeper one. Well! Even in our closest relationships, we protect our self-image – our perception in our own eyes vis-à-vis the other. That’s why when we want to expose our vulnerabilities, we want to do it in a way that still keeps our dignity intact. Even when we are full with emotions to the brim, we still look for the right coordinates of ‘time and place’ to share.
So I am letting him decide those coordinates, so that eventually when we will have that conversation, he won’t regret.
……….
After all, real relationships are the ones in which we feel good even after telling something ‘not so good’ about us. Isn’t it? 🙂
