A photo-finish…

Posted on 18 December, 2011 by Sandeep Atre

Once Charlie Chaplin participated in a Charlie-Chaplin look-alike contest…and came third…

Listening to Narayan Murthy speak (in a conclave) was at best an encore…

Everything about him – be it what we read or what we listen – is like witnessing a big family get-together of all the virtues from our Grandpa’s stories…the only difference (and a BIG one) being that he talks about them in a context most unlikely – business.

“Began small…Played it Big…Made it large”…this line suits Narayan Murthy much more than the whisky it endorses. Add to it the point that he did it all while still being on the right side of his conscience, and you will start thinking that you indeed need a hangover to believe it is true…

And what better than the fact that people are now more inspired by ‘what they think he is’ than ‘what he actually is’…In fact, I suspect, they had gone there only to confirm what they already knew about him…

But that’s what makes this special…He is no more a person, ‘his face and his name’ have transcended the boundaries of his body and yet the greatest compliment possible is that they have been able to embody and represent all the good deeds of a whole lifetime…Yes! ’His face and his name’!

…In the end, I observed that no one wanted to talk to him…all everyone wanted was a snap with him.

Hence Proved!

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She was right…

Posted on 14 December, 2011 by Sandeep Atre

Someone asked Mallory (a mountaineer) “Why do you want to climb Mount Everest?”

He simply said “Because it’s there”!

…Since then they have become the most famous three words in mountaineering.

The other day, in a session, a student was uncharacteristically reacting to every point that would be spoken by anyone (in a GD) on his point. And when I asked him after the class “Why were you doing so?” He almost said “because they were there”! …

…Mallory could afford to say those words because he said it in a standalone context…(Although I am not sure he could…as incidentally, after his 3rd expedition, Mallory went missing…until his body was discovered after 75 years by an expedition…no one knows whether he was going towards the summit or was coming back…)

So…the question is “Can one react to everything that tries to catch his attention?” Well…

Naseeruddin Shah reportedly once said “For 25 years, the world thought that Amitabh Bachchan was intelligent…and then he started giving interviews…”

When a reporter asked Amitabh to comment on it, he reportedly said…“When a person of the stature of Naseer says something, you don’t react…you simply hold your hand behind your back…bow a bit…bend your neck…and listen.”

On another occasion, SRK says that once when they were sitting backstage for a show…Amitabh said (as I remember to have read) to him “Beta, when stardom comes, koi bhi aadmi aa kar tumko thappad mar kar chala jayega. Tum use kuch nahin keh sakte. Kyunki agar tumne kuch kaha, to kaamyaabi tumhaare sar chaddh gayi hai, tum arrogant ho, tum apne aap ko samjhte kya ho…so you have to keep quiet, put on your blinkers…and keep walking…keep working!”

I am not a big fan of Amitabh (look at my vanity! As if Amitabh cares…)…but when it comes to temperament, I agree with Rekha…

Once, on her show, Simi Garewal asked Rekha…”Rekha! Now I want to ask you a question that the whole country wants to ask you…”

…and then she asked… “Do you love Amitabh Bachchan?”

Rekha paused… looked down…then looked up…and said…

“YES! I love Amitabh Bachchan……but tell me one person who doesn’t!!!”…

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I took my first (and last) credit-card at 15…

Posted on 10 December, 2011 by Sandeep Atre

The other day, while responding to a question during a session, I quoted those lines…and while coming back, I tried to figure out how and when I started believing in them…

…I was barely 15 when I started serious-writing (if such a term exists)… the credit goes to my elder brother (my Tauji’s son, but more real than one can imagine)…He was one of the most important early influences in my life and due to his connoisseur taste for Ghazals, I fell in love with this genre…

I still remember how I started! I once read someone’s couplet in a magazine and got so hooked upon it that I then wrote its stanzas on my own…but now it was a tricky proposition…because I had my first creation with someone else’s first-lines and my stanzas…

After that I wrote completely on my own…but every time people would talk about me, that first hybrid creation of mine would always feature as my standalone-first (you don’t forget your first love also because people don’t let you)…

I would choose to believe that as a teenager, I didn’t know how to explain that whole proposition to the people, who were all now treating me as sort of a prodigy. But I can’t rule out a possibility that I didn’t clarify also because I must have started liking the spotlight and didn’t want to risk my position under it…

Then one fine day, I got to meet this so-called art-critic of the city and when that hybrid creation of mine came in front, he immediately spotted that it belonged to someone else (he also remembered the name of the writer)…I still remember the satirical look in his eyes and even today it makes me shudder…

Although I can say that I was not a culprit or a pretender and was only a victim of an ignorant innocence but if ever I hated myself for being in my skin, it was on that day.

On that day, I learnt, “Never take credit of someone else’s work, because then you corrupt your soul…” and “Never disown the credit when you deserve it, because then you demean what God gifted you with…”

I am not an extraordinary-achiever but when I look back, I find it has served me really well, as I think your overall confidence of being ‘in your skin’ comes from many such little-yet-important values that you set (or are forced to set) early in your life…(also, then no amount of spotlight affects your alignment with your inner compass)…

As they say…”clear conscience is the softest pillow”…

But since I use a hard one…So I would rather say…

“With clear conscience, who needs a pillow…!!!” (Now, you bet it’s an original one!)

Disclaimer: Personal values are subject to market risk. Please keep reading the blog-documents carefully before trusting.

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We, the suppressors

Posted on 8 December, 2011 by Sandeep Atre

It happened a few years back…

I had joined an exercise club to get rid of a nagging problem with my neck. The club owner was this 50- year old stud who could give an inferiority complex to any dude in the town (or the downtown). He was this old-school guy who believed that the mental toughness and physical wellness essentially have a vice versa relationship.

I still remember when one morning I went there at a time close to noon when the early-comers who would work-out out of inspiration were all gone and only a few late-draggers like me (who work-out out of the guilt of not coming early) were fooling (themselves) around.

He was in his cabin. I went there to wish him but struck a bit of casual conversation. While talking I happened to look at a photograph on the wall (which I had seen many times but had never remarked upon). That somewhat-old photograph had a politician (a well-known one in the region) with a few people surrounding him; and his father being one of them.

He pointed towards his father and said “Bauji ka badaa maan thaa…” and when he found me all ears towards him (I don’t think he expected that!), he continued talking about his father, his clout in the village, his benevolence, his profession that he has inherited…etc…etc…

And then he paused for a few seconds and said “Aur phir wo chale gaye…bina kisiko takleef diye…” then he again paused and said “Unhone mere liye itna kiya aur main unke liye kuchh bhi nahin kar paaya…kuchh bhi nahin…”

It was then that I suddenly realized that actually he was crying…his face was all wet with tears and he just kept speaking the same sentence while looking down…and tears kept rolling down his cheeks. Then he wiped his tears and said “Wo tab gaye the…ab jaa ke roya hoon”…

That episode only reintroduced me to a fact…in the name of maturity we only grow increasingly complex…in the name of strength we only tend to become more unnatural…denying the truth that we can never be stronger than the very emotions that define our existence. We, the suppressors…don’t realize that we can only stop emotions but can never end them…only to find them resurfacing in the most unlikely moments and the most unceremonious contexts…

I still have that nagging problem in the neck…and also a vivid memory of the lump in his throat…and this precious realization that the pain, the pleasure, the angst, the anguish, the grief, the restlessness and what-not will anyways run their natural course…let’s see them through to see through them…

Wait a minute! Can this also suggest that I started blogging for the same reasons?

Well! I would like to believe it is not so…and still hope it is.

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and he thinks he can fool us…

Posted on 5 December, 2011 by Sandeep Atre

That’s the only way they could take him away…

While he was asleep…

…as if he had been awake, the angels would have resigned from their jobs…out of sheer shame to take life out of someone who life considered itself a synonym of…

Collapsing his heart…

…as even if all the organs of his body had failed, his heart would alone have cajoled the oxygen to keep coming…that too on his own terms…

And I am sure…on that night…all female angels were on a strike, opposing the call of providence…

But now…the heaven will have a hell of a time, convincing him not to make movies (the whole earth had already tried it)…

Well tried Dev Anand!!…for trying to make us believe that you have died…

Better luck next time…

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In the driver’s seat

Posted on 1 December, 2011 by Sandeep Atre

Normally I like driving (I define abnormality as driving within the 6 Km radius with Geeta Bhawan Square as the center)…

I think most of the people like driving because it gives them a pseudo sense of control over at least something in life; with a piece of iron – at your wish – moving as you push one pedal and stopping as you press another…quite a joy-ride, on an ego-trip…

 I am sure my reasons of liking it start with this one but don’t end there…as I love the resultant solitude… coupled with an opportunity to be in communion with the untouched piece of nature enjoying its state of pure being.  That’s why I prefer to go for any session or seminar by my own vehicle (of course also because it frees the company-car for some other usage)…

However, a few days back, our marketing department asked me to use the company-car as there were two back-to-back sessions at two different places (and perhaps they did not trust my driving-skills enough to reach in time).

Our company-driver is a treat to be with as long as he is not driving (he is good at it, yet at times a bit too rash for my liking). Well! He attends all the seminars and also doubles up as a marketing-assistant. His confidence borders around brazenness yet overall he comes across as a genuine guy with a happy-go-lucky streak (can’t comment on his driving for the apprehension of commentator’s curse – courtesy ‘cricket’- and also because I have always believed that irrespective of all the experience, each one of us is only as good as our last drive…or the first one).

While we were coming back, I joked to him that “having attended so many of my seminars now you also can take my seminars”, to which he replied, “Sir, not only yours, I can take seminars of all the other Sirs (then he took names of a few of my colleagues who he accompanies in their assignments)”.I was hugely amused at his repartee and all of us had a real good laugh (I also got reminded of an anecdote of Einstein and his driver)…

The experience stayed with me and when I narrated it to one of my friends, he jokingly said “Well, beware of the competition! It can come from anywhere”! I know he meant it only in a funny way but when he said this, a thought dawned upon me in a jiffy…  

Isn’t it amazing!! When someone says that we are good, we feel flattered…when he says that he would want to become as good as we are, we feel honored…when he eventually becomes as good as we are, we feel insecure…and if he becomes better than us, we feel jealous…

Well! What to say??? Anyways…what’s the way out?

First, keep getting better…till we reach our best…and then…redefine ‘best’

And more importantly…

Let’s replenish our souls; something is not quite right there…

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Baby blues…

Posted on 27 November, 2011 by Sandeep Atre

It was around one week back that my mind got pregnant with this idea, after a beautiful one-night-stand with a book…

I have always seen our work as introducing people to a whole set of important ideas…so that they get more aware of what all life has to offer… and then can pick one which helps them discover their calling in their lives/help them be more of who they already are (or would want to be).

I am so fascinated with this concept that I almost fancy that if it was not already taken I would have kept the punch-line of our work as ‘an idea can change your life’ (in fact its corollary ‘what an idea SIRji’ would also match our backdrop).

…The other day, it was time for another seminar at a college…and I was sure that this brainchild I was carrying was a potential life-changer for the audience, so was really keen to introduce it at the crest of audience’s immersion into the session. The session started and I went with the flow (and the PPT, mind it!)…and as luck would have it, my mind forgot its mummy -tummy and so did I…

When I was driving back, I realized something was bothering me inside…the seminar went well…all stakeholders were appreciative…audience learned and introspected…we got positioned as the right value-creators for them… and all the key-messages were delivered in their best possible shape. Yet, I felt a tiny restlessness in my arteries…

…It is so true that ‘Success is Public…but Failure is Private…’! Amidst all the standing-applauses, house-full boards, pats on the back, warm hugs and star-struck faces…only you know what you had really set out to do and achieve…

You might receive all the compliments with grace…pay tributes in turn…pass on the glory to your worthy impetus…but inside you, a part of you is sulking, cringing and twitching…because it knows what you had indeed embarked upon…

And as long as you stay true to that part…you know you are on-track…

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The destiny dates…

Posted on 21 November, 2011 by Sandeep Atre

Very early in my career, someone once asked me to be a judge at an event. On the surface, I was thrilled (after all! every dog has a day and mine had come…I savored my chance to get back at the world; paying it in the same coin). But ironically, I ended up denying it because deep down inside, I could never assume any right to judge anyone….as I never wanted to give right to anyone to judge me…and if I had accepted the offer, I would have not only assumed the right but would have intrinsically provided it as well (that’s the way ball bounces… judgment is essentially a Siamese twins)

With the passage of time, the nature of my profession and the mode of my attachment to it overpowered my natural aversion (as entrepreneurs we were chasing the limelight and in such scenario any free spotlight was gold dust…) and I started featuring at such platforms quite often (I guess it is difficult to be a lawyer when you have a poet’s temperament)

The other day was another such day. I was invited as a judge for an illustrious event by someone I have a lot of regards for. I happened to be part of a panel of 3, with one of my long-time mentors. There is something about a mentor…he may not say much but his sheer presence is elevating and enriching, and that day, I again had a first-hand experience of it…(and when he did speak a few words…I swear! They were the most profound words of the day). I am sure what I felt with him was enough a reason to go online with my thoughts, yet there was something else that also happened on that day…

At tea, I happened to talk to the Executive Director of a major Tata company (now even before you inflate your opinion of my stature in the society, allow me to pre-puncture it by telling you that we don’t know each other and I am sure he must have already forgotten me).  What matters is that during one of the sips (while cup was still ‘a mid-air ad-hoc’ in his hand), I asked him how does he look at what he has achieved in life?

He smiled, paused and said…(Paraphrased here onwards, on the basis of my memory and motive)…”Sandeep (I still can’t believe he remembered my name!), you know…a few years back, 16-year old daughter of one of our workers came into my office and told me that she wanted to study further. I told her that I would only pay the fee for her 1st year and would pay for the next year only if she would come in Top-3 of her college. She nodded with a happy tear in her eye and left. After one year, she came with a paper-cutting…she was in Top-3 of the university…”

He then stopped to make the cup feel worthy, and said…”You know! It is not about driving a Sedan or being a globe-trotter or being a well-respected man in the society…it is about an opportunity to experience such experiences…my achievement is that I helped someone create theirs”…

I looked at his face to confirm the veracity of what he was saying (after all! I am considered to be a good behavioral trainer)…he had a smile that can only come on your lips when your heart is smiling…

Since then, I have kept wondering if he would have said the same if he would not be driving a Sedan or was not a globe-trotter or was not a well-respected man in the society… but still I am sure that what he had said is a major reason why today he is driving a Sedan…is a globe-trotter and is a well-respected man in the society…

After all…destiny does have a good eye for the man it wants to date…

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A moment of truth..

Posted on 12 November, 2011 by Sandeep Atre

Some experiences don’t shock you, they just give you shivers, not always of grief but at times even of realization…realization of what you always knew, but never quite felt intensely….I had one such, that I am sure is going to be a part of my metabolism for a long time…

Had stopped in front of a shoe stand, gave the guy my shoes to work on and wore the chappals given by him (almost felt like rephrasing the much-abused phrase to ‘it is tough to be in someone else’s chappals’).

While waiting for them to be worked upon, I kept looking around purposelessly (I love such rare moments…when you are neither human-doings nor human-havings…but simply human-beings)

Saw a man (can call him neither a beggar nor a mad-man, not Fakir and not Sufi either…and still a combination of all of them) with a natural ear-to-ear smile on a rather rough-skinned face (damned all sophisticated tight-lipped smiles we see all around everywhere…!).

He was walking all along in a rhythmic fashion (as if dancing on the tune of the very existence), murmuring something to himself; while wishing all the kiosk-owners with a raised hand and an occasional dialogue or so (actually a monologue…with no anticipation for an answer!).

He had a feel-good-factor all around him and the best part was that he was not exploiting that factor for asking for something from someone… (Wonder if that was the very secret of that factor!!!)

Suddenly he turned around and that’s when I saw a dog that was following him. The skinny off-white dog had a few flowers, a peacock-feather and some leaves tucked in a thread of sorts wrapped around his neck … (quite a sight!)…the man bent down, hugged him (literally), cuddled him and then said to the shoe-stall fellow “Isko itna samjhata hoon par ye mera saath hi nahin chhodta!…main bolta hoon ki bhai mere paas kuchh nahin hai tereko dene ke liye, par fir bhi pichhe pichhe aata hai…” and then he stopped and said “kutta hai na isliye samajhta nahin hai…insaan hota to samajh jata…”

And I almost skipped a heartbeat…!!!

But this was not all…he then took out a messed-up 10-rupee note from his pocket and tried to feed it to the dog… and when the dog smelled it and turned his neck away then the man laughed a guffaw and said “Arre…main to bhul hi gaya thaa ki tu ye thode hi khaata hai…”

This time I am sure that I had skipped one…!!!

My eyes followed both of them till I could, and they could be…but something had changed…in the world and certainly inside me…

Utterly speechless!!!

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I wish his phone was dead or…

Posted on 6 November, 2011 by Sandeep Atre

Way back, when I went to Bombay (not Mumbai) as a teenager wanting to be a lyricist (I did become one for a while), a well-known music director gave me the exclusive-directory of the music fraternity, the book which was supposed to be shared only by the insiders of the industry and had numbers of all the who’s who of the music world (…I still wonder how and why he trusted a skinny geek from Indore in just two meetings…). I rationalized by thinking that it was so because I was an immensely trustable person, ignoring the fact that it was more because he was an immensely trusting person – so much so for my much-hyped modesty!!!!!

As soon as I got it, I ditched all the alphabets from A to I and went straight to ‘J’, dialing Jagjit Singh’s residence-number…a woman picked the phone (in all probability it was ChitraJi). When I said that I wanted to meet Jagjit Singh as I was his biggest fan (while stretching the B…. sound as much as I could), she seemed absolutely unmoved…and when I played the sympathy card by saying “Main Indore se unse milne aayaa hoon…”, she, with absolutely indifferent tone said “Log unse Caneda se milne aate hain to bhi wo nahin milte…” (I have deliberately twisted the spelling of Canada to reflect her pronunciation when she said it…)…

When she put the phone down, I didn’t know whether to mourn over my lost-chance, laugh at my failed (and stupid) attempt to evoke sympathy or feel insulted on being turned down so clinically….(I actually chose to use the incident to pump my pseudo & petty self-esteem ending up eventually saying to myself “One day,….bla bla bla…..you know what…”).

Years after that incident, when the angels called up at his place, I wish ChitraJi would have said to them “Log unse Caneda se milne aate hain to bhi wo nahin milte…” I am sure I would have felt much better…knowing that the angels would have been going through the same predicament – whether to mourn over their lost-chance, laugh at their failed (and stupid) attempt to evoke fear or feel insulted on being turned down so clinically!
…..
…..

To be continued…

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