I know Krishna is smiling up there…

The other evening, during a session with call-getters from IIMs & other top B-schools, one of them seemed disturbed by a prominent performer dominating the discussion all the time…he simply said out of sheer exasperation ‘I don’t know what to do’…

I, almost instinctively, ended up using those eternally-beautiful words of Reinhold Niebuhr to soothe his restlessness…

“God grant me the courage to change the things I can… serenity to accept the things I cannot change…and wisdom to know the difference.”

I just added “So, you can’t change him or the situation…Accept that they shall remain the same, and just change the way you think and deal with it!”

It worked! It works almost always!

As Shekhar Kapur once said… Acceptance is truly beautiful if you understand it!” It doesn’t mean cowardice or inaction; rather true acceptance must lead to purity of action…with the awareness that ‘result’ of our action is often independent of it…

…All we can do is Give our best…and forget the rest!

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A promise is a promise…

One of my closest friends reminded me of my promise of ‘writing a post on romance’ (I made that silly promise at the end of my ‘entrepreneurship’ post…). He has hardly ever let me down, so how can I? So…Bhai!!!…here I go…

But there is a twist in the tale…On that topic, let me share with you all something really interesting (…to me at least). I recently stumbled upon something that I had written years ago, for a cousin, when we were in college (I still remember storing it on a floppy disk!)…

But, first you promise me that you would not laugh! Actually, I kept laughing like hell while reading it after such a long time…I couldn’t help it, as it was so amateurish and immature…right from the topic to the content, everything is so…silly… (and still so innocent!). That age is so beautiful! Isn’t it! You can philosophize and theorize all sorts of things, without the pressure to actually apply them!!!  

And I discovered at least one thing… that my writing style hasn’t changed much over the years… (…that means I am still equally pleasant or irritating as I was…)…So here it goes…

Locate-your-love 

When you are entering a relationship, be careful about a few things… Prefer to avoid finding your mate at the place where you study or live… That is, don’t have your beloved (for both the genders) at your school, college or the same apartment/colony.

But this is contradictory. Isn’t it? Actually, these are the places where you are most likely to get your partner. But “obvious is not always good”. I say this for a very specific reason. What drives the success horse? I would say…focus, well-directed efforts and the maximum utilization of your resources like potential, energy, time and above all…emotions.

Bifurcate a stream of water and you will find that neither of them have the same force, speed and effectiveness. Similar is the case with our mind. You give it two thoughts to ponder upon simultaneously and the results will suffer, the quality of output will deteriorate. Concentration is the prior step to the meditation! See many things at a time and you will land up observing none of them.

Well, success demands sacrifices! Sacrifice of the temptation of having each finger in the different pies with varied flavors! Cocktails get delicious not surely but accidentally! So, why to avoid having your sweetheart at a few specific places? Well…simple! Don’t merge serious business with soft corners of heart. You are going to attain mediocrity at best in both the genres!

Well, when you have your mate with you or near you throughout the day then you are conscious! You cannot be your own natural self! You cannot enjoy work! You cannot explore your inner self. You become too dependent.  You lose excitement of the relationship and enthusiasm and eagerness of being together. Because, “pudding twice a day” makes salad tastier in a week!

And the worst and most horrible consequence… any turbulence in your relationship will affect all facets of your life. If something unfortunate happens in the relationship – a temporary tense and repulsive patch or worse, a break-up – then you are doomed! Because you keep on regressing to the past, the memories keep haunting you. You cannot concentrate on the studies, or find it hard even to be at your house.   

But then is it right to have your mate very far from you?

 No! The ideal buy is to have her/him at an approachable distance. Not too far to land up tracing, not too close to end up elbowing! …at such a distance that you can always touch each other with a stretched hand!

Manage two of them such that you have those focused, unambiguous, productive, result-oriented and dedicated-to-objective days… And then those cozy, romantic, dusky, eves afterwards!

…So that, after an exhausting day, you can hold each other’s hands, have a long walk, enjoy coffee at the seashore or can at least have a wonderful and embracing talk on the phone.

…So that, you can have a dreamy-yet-sound sleep and you are perfectly fit for the grill next morning and yes! …For another delicious eve!

………..

Uh! I hope you had fun reading the words of a self-appointed Love-Guru (who himself was a sentimental syringe)!!! Honestly! I felt so embarrassed reading it again…But I guess, I did make a good point…and that too stylishly enough (although I missed my favorite brackets (…))!

…probably…Some things only come with time…

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‘Old enough’ or ‘too young’?

The other day, a father came with his son to meet me…He wanted some suggestions for his son (…I wish I myself had taken one from a person wiser than I am). Couldn’t resist being really affected by what I witnessed throughout the meeting (I mean, the way father was treating his son…)…So, this post!!

The greatest irony of our society is that we relate respect with factors like age, gender, creed and cadre rather than the factors like potential, contribution, genuineness and performance. We believe that by virtue of being a boss or a rich or a senior citizen, we are entitled to get respect.

Its corollary can be that because someone is a peon or earns less or is younger in age, it is not necessary to give him respect. This is ridiculous! People should not be characterized by what they have; rather they should be evaluated by what they do. It is all about using a fair criterion! A criterion which does not depend on what you are bestowed with, but how you produce the deliverables!

In other words, it is about ‘Egalitarianism’.

It is an issue with our social system… Even in our families, the younger people don’t have a say until they become elders and there is a favorite saying in India “No matter how big you are, you can never become bigger than your parents”. That’s why parents decide the career stream their kids would take, without knowing even the full-form of the degree they want their kids to pursue…

Don’t misunderstand me! The respect for parents is a must and they are indeed the most important people in our lives, but I also see a hint of compulsive-respect coming across…So, parents should give advice and children should not overlook it… But, the children should also be given enough respect with their opinions.  

Let’s see it this way… If you will keep on telling your kids what to do, then they will only be as wise as you are!

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that elusive concept…called entrepreneurship

(…even before you begin to read…a caveat! It will be a post longer than the earlier ones…So read it only if the topic interests you or when you are in a mood to really ‘read’)  

Sometime back, an institution invited me to speak on ‘Entrepreneurship’. I have always believed that entrepreneurship is a way-of-living rather than just a way-of-working (more on this concept in some future post). I opine (agreed…prejudiced!) that it is one of the most misunderstood words around. We have made it sound much more idealistic and abstract than it in fact is (although there surely is a conceptual side to it). I tried to disambiguate it in that session…

Let me express my thoughts on its concrete side (in a narrow aspect)…

I define Entrepreneurship as ‘Value-creation for all stakeholders, through innovation’.

As Value = Benefits/Costs (here ‘/’ means ‘upon’)

So the two ways of increasing value are: 1) Increase the benefits (both tangible and intangible) for the same cost or 2) reduce the cost for the same benefit; or do both (ideal!).

Let me try to explain this through an example (I consider myself a mathematically-challenged person, so don’t worry if figures scare you at the outset…just read on, it is simple basic stuff!)   

Say, the prevalent practice (original proposition) is:

  • A thing costs 13 Rs. to vendors
  • People buy it in 15 Rs. (vendors earn 2 Rs.)
  • People sell it to the customers at 20 Rs. (people earn 5 Rs.)

Case 1) If you also do it, then it is more or less called trading

Case 2) Say, you pressurize/negotiate with the vendors well. So now:

  • A thing costs 13 Rs. to your vendor
  • You buy it in 14 Rs. (vendor earns 1 Rs, -1 from the original proposition)
  • You sell it to the customers at 20 Rs. (you earn 6 Rs, +1 from the original proposition)

Value-creation for: Owners (not for vendors & customers).

This is called business

Case 3) Say, rather than doing any of the above things, you decide to sacrifice a bit. So now:

  • A thing costs 13 Rs. to your vendors
  • You buy it in 15 Rs. (vendor earns 2 Rs, same as the original proposition)
  • You sell it to the customers at 19 Rs. (you earn 4 Rs. -1 from the original proposition)

Value-creation for: Customers (not for owners & vendors).

This is called ‘Socialistic business’

Case 4) Now, say, through innovation like technology, right-sourcing, cost-cutting, reorganizing, helping optimization on vendor’s side etc., you bring the cost to the vendor down to 10 Rs. (without compromising on quality) And now:

  • A thing costs 10 Rs. to your vendors
  • You buy it in 13 Rs. (vendor earns 3 Rs. +1 from the original proposition)
  • You sell it to the customers at 20 Rs. (you earn 7 Rs. +2 from the original proposition)

Value-creation for: Owners & Vendors (nil for customers).

This is called better business

Case 5) Now, say, through innovation, like technology, right-sourcing, cost-cutting, reorganizing, helping optimization on vendor’s side etc., you bring the cost to the vendor down to 10 Rs. (without compromising on quality) And now:

  • A thing costs 10 Rs. to your vendors
  • You buy it for 13 Rs. (vendor earns 3 Rs. +1 from the original proposition)
  • You sell it to the customers at 19 Rs. (you earn 6 Rs. +1 from the original proposition)

Value-creation for: Owners, Vendors and Customers (as now it costs 1 Rs. less to them)

This is called Entrepreneurship… because if you compare this to the original proposition then you have created value for all the stakeholders.

Case 6) Now, say, through creativity, innovation, observation or vision (and of course technology, reorganizing etc.), you add unprecedented features/qualities/feel-goods to your offering and now:

  • A thing costs 14 Rs. to your vendor
  • You buy it in 17 Rs. (vendor earns 3 Rs. +1 from the original proposition)
  • You sell it to the customers at 24 Rs. (you earn 7 Rs. +2 from the original proposition)

This is also called Entrepreneurship… because although at a higher cost, you fulfilled the higher wants/desires of the customer and thus in the process still created value for all the stakeholders.

Although all the terms/calculations above are used in a narrow context, tweaked to aid simplicity…I still abide by the BIG-picture thought that Entrepreneurship is ‘Value-creation for all stakeholders, through innovation’.    

PS:if this post seemed heavy to you then I promise I will write my next post on Romance…but I am on my knees, please please please don’t stop reading the blog!!!!…Just kidding!!

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God’s very own place…

Spent the whole day in a town 80 Kms from Indore…Was invited as a guest at the Annual function of a school…

The town was busy and yet had a heartbeat…It was breathing, without an itch to prove itself so-called ‘lively & happening’…it was very comfortable in its own skin!

They first took me to the home of the Secretary of the school…He effortlessly talked to me about everything that we take at least 5 years to confide in someone with…served homemade delicacies in a steel-plate, without any napkins but with loads of affection…And then I realized that ‘everyone’ was like that…not only to me, but also towards each other…

…While we were driving towards the school, I looked at the road which was to take me back to Indore in a few hours, and it just occurred to me that…probably “Too much of ambition is poisonous…it spoils the whole pleasure of living!”

And then came the blissful part…

…in front of the kids…Distributed the prize, accompanied by the excellent gentleman who had invited me there…I saw the most beautiful scenery of God…

…Kids clapping all the time (without any cringes)… touching both the feet (of all the people on the stage)…smiling ear-to-ear (without a reason, or desire of asking for one)… saying ‘thank you’ (looking straight in the eye)… cheering for each other (actually)… holding their certificates tight (with a pride people don’t even hold a fat pay-cheque with)… looking at their tiny-trophies with curiosity (rather than conceit)… joining hands for prayer (with eyes closed)… listening to what we were saying (without evaluating us)…!

While coming back, I didn’t remember what I had said to them…all I remembered was a sweet pinch of a realization that… As we grow up, we gain the most respected virtue in the world – ‘intelligence’…at the cost of the most cherished possession of ours – ‘innocence’!

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Move On…

The other day, I was in a heart-to-heart conversation with one of my near-ones (…simply conversing has become so rare these days…isn’t it?)…Of-late he has been going through a real tough time emotionally, and is feeling like a victim and a culprit at the same time (…relationships are so strange… isn’t it?)

…long after we had finished our tea (…a so-badly-made tea that it could only be forgiven by sadly-mad people…), when he was going back…the conversation ended with my saying “you need to Move On!”…to which he replied…“if it all it was so easy…!”

“Move On…”…so easier said than done! But at times, it’s the only way…

Well! To philosophize…we all have been allocated only a stipulated time on this earth and we will not live even a millisecond longer than that. Nobody knows how much time we have on our hands…So, it doesn’t make sense to waste time in proving something to somebody.

Ultimately, it is between you and God…! (…although I am not exactly a conventional theist, but I like the sound of it)! When we go up, we should be able to justify our stint with human race. So let’s look at the bigger picture and create something which will complete us!

…And for that we will have to rise above the sentimental loopholes. They will not end till the last breath… In fact the ones who we will not say ‘I love you’ before dying will feel bad that we did not give them the due importance…! So, we can only be genuine and compassionate; and hope people will acknowledge us for who we are…

Let’s forgive & forget! In fact those who we have not forgiven, keep hurting us more…because we keep on chewing the hurt and it takes a lot of our energy to keep it alive… Well! If we fall by getting hit by a table then there is no use kicking the table because it is only going to further hurt our leg…and we only will have to get it repaired. So it is better to tell the table “Okay! Pardon granted!”

A wonderful Sufi philosophy says “This too shall pass”! Absolutely true, we can’t even recall what was on our mind on the same day of the last month then why should we block ourselves with a block…

…Let’s Move beyond the actions and reactions and enter the world of creations! (…a good one! Isn’t it?)

(To be honest…if I myself had applied all that I have written above, I would have been way ahead of me today…As I said…“Move On…!”…so easier said than done! Still…Worth a try…!)

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love u hamesha…

…Was going through an interview of a well-known social activist…When she was asked how she has managed to sustain her enthusiasm towards it, she gave a rather interesting reply. She said “…because it has helped me build my self-esteem in my own eyes”!

It is much more than just a statement. It gives an insight into ‘us’!

The truth is that the first person we fall in love with… is ‘ourselves’! And since then, the life is nothing but a voyage to stay in love with ourselves… Be it the place where we live, the work that we do or the choices that we make…everything is secretly aimed at this only…

We choose friends who either ‘like us’ or ‘are like us’…we build associations which help us get better without making us feel inferior…and we create relationships which don’t try to change us beyond our comfort…In a way, we keep loving people who help us love ourselves more!

…It is not selfishness; it is simply the way we are!

In fact, what is strange is that we all know about this ‘fundamental need’ of each one of us, and still we don’t respect it enough.

Well! Let’s help people be in love with themselves…without ‘confusing them into believing that they are flawless’ or ‘manipulating them to serve our interests’!

…It’s The latter half that makes the former tougher…

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Manage vs. Lead…

Recently, I was at one of the leading Pharmaceutical companies, conducting a full-day training-program for its managers…The topic was ‘Leadership Qualities & Managerial Effectiveness”…

The topic again drew me into the eternal popular debate, ‘which is more important – Management or leadership?’ Well! The answer is a cliché – ‘Both’! While Management is practical, leadership is emotive! And be it in profession or in our life at large, together they make things holistic…

 Management is important, as it is probably possible to work with a team of a few people by human touch but to manage bigger teams the only way is to create infallible “Systems & Processes”. They are to be connected by virtue of discipline, top-lines, bottom-lines, KRAs and deliverables.

However, managers have to understand that they are supposed to manage people’s actions, not the people! People always like to be led, while their actions are being managed! It is because we have 4 benchmarks in our lives “Survival, Sustenance, Success & Significance”! And eventually we all like to work towards significance.

So…while ‘more management and less leadership’ makes the work ‘optimally ritualistic, which wouldn’t grow beyond a limit’, ‘more leadership and less management’ makes it ‘dangerously idealistic, which wouldn’t produce consistent results’. It is a fine balance that needs to be struck!

Peter McArthur famously said “Every Successful enterprise requires three men: a Dreamer, a Businessman, and a Scoundrel (originally it was SOB)”… More importantly, if you want the recipe to be perfect then the ratio matters as much as the ingredients…

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A day calling itself…

Some days are just…………….long. They simply refuse to end!

Today was one such day at work…the first half was pretty elevating and exhilarating…it was all about people…some close…some new…some new & still close…and some close & still new… And when it reached 2nd half, I was dog-tired and a bit unwell. But as if it was not enough, I had training sessions for the whole evening…

…There are people who work and then enjoy, enjoy and then work…but then there are people who enjoy their work. I am of the latter type (as I believe that your heart should be where it discovers its calling!)…Work, for me, is an extension of who I am…Agreed, I can’t compartmentalize well (and it does take its toll in many ways), but I can’t help it, that’s the way I am wired. I like my work to be purposeful, as the fulfillment I derive from it, in a way, defines my being…

But then there are days on which all that I philosophized above comes to cipher…it was one of such days…body was dragging itself, heart was heavy and mind was…well…‘never mind’! With all the years of work behind me, I have trained myself well enough to not let my clientele recognize it, but that emotional labor itself takes its own share of calories…so in fact the misery (inside you) only gets messier…

After 1st hour, I just wanted the day to call itself…but I know that when you want it this way then clocks suddenly rediscover their sense-of-humor and start ticking slowly than ever before (science will say otherwise, but then who the hell is science…this is my blog, and I am the king of my backyard!).

But then…as every hour passed, I realized that the more I hung in, the better it got…and although the body and the mind were still maintaining their status-quo, the heart kept feeling better (I guess, the self-respect is nothing but an offshoot of ‘you beating your weaker-self’!)…and though I was relieved when the day ended, I felt less guilt while driving back…

In life, we will all have days when no matter how hard we try, we’ll just sink…and days when we will swim hard and prevail…but there also are some days when both possibilities will stand equal chance…On such days, let’s just remind ourselves that ‘Professionalism is all about how good you are on your bad days’…

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The secret-agent

World manipulates you for what you hide…

The other day, in a session, this quote quoted itself via me in a particular context. And as I was driving back, I rummaged into my first tryst with its content…

I was in my initial teens when I and one of my classmates went to a city called Kamthi, as a part of the drama-team representing our school (we had no dialogues and only expressions, after all what else can you expect when your roles are that of fellow passengers in the train-compartment in which the protagonist travels…). But both of us were thrilled for the reasons best untold…

There, one day, both of us were talking and incidentally used a few swearwords as a part of proving it to ourselves that we were grownups (I am not at all proud of it, but then…boys will be boys!)…Exactly then, one of our senior boys entered the room and overheard those golden words…

That moment onwards it became our ‘Big secret…to be kept’ for the whole trip. Everywhere we would go, whatever we would do, that guy would look at us with the ‘Shall-I-tell- eye!’… (…that, he was a friend to the ‘senior-girl we both had a crush on’ didn’t help our cause either…”now you also know why we were thrilled at the outset…”)

The point that he didn’t tell anyone cannot change the fact that we both came back feeling the strangest we had ever felt till then…realizing that Yes! The world does manipulate you for what you hide!

…Let’s accept that we are ‘social animals’…so we can’t bare-it-all (sadly, the precondition of living in a society)… The animal aspect of ours (which I actually consider the purest and the most natural form of being) will always have its naked truths – the skeletons, and our social aspect will always build the closet around them.  

Well!…I still have many skeletons in my closet…And I am sure we all have…many skeletons (and even many closets)…but let’s make sure that each skeleton is worth the space that it takes in the closet…

After all! Let’s not forget that the closet itself also takes a space in our living room…leaving even lesser room for us to live…!

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