In life, most of us do not realize that we are solving the wrong questions… As a result, even the right answers hardly make a difference!
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My most difficult moments are when people forget that I am a trainer and start seeing me as a mentor…! I am neither an infallible role-model nor equipped or wise enough to offer best solutions. But I guess they share their life, believing … ‘I would understand’!
…and I do try my best to…
In sessions, I found her painfully shy, and oversensitive! …and that day I came to know why; when – accompanied by her mother – she peeled herself off layer by layer…
In the end, she said “How could he do it; he didn’t even think of me?”
I said “The question is wrong, because he has already done it!”
She said “But why?”
I said “Look! It was a choice he made, and it had nothing to do with you.”
She said “But I want to know the answers!”
I said “you will never get the answers! All you would get is opinions on what happened.”
And then almost conclusively, I said “You are solving the wrong questions…right question is ‘Now, how do I deal with it?’”
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Well! When she met me last, she was confused…but not angry!
At least now…she is solving the right question!