The one who came in between!

One of the best quotes I have heard on love is “If in love two become one, then the result is…two half people!”

………………

He said “It was so beautiful in the beginning…and now it has all changed. It is as if…something has come between us! I don’t know what?”

I asked “You really want to know who came between you two?”

He exclaimed “Who?” …

I said…“You!

Well! In love, your identity gets dissolved. And by definition, whenever you lose yourself willingly…you feel good! It happens when you dance heartily, sing with your eyes closed, watch an engrossing movie, read a romantic novel or look at the scenic beauty on a drive.

Falling in love is no different from any of the above. The same thing happens…just slightly more intensely and lastingly. That’s why you see love-birds mouthing dialogues like “I forget myself when I am with her”, “Time flies when I am with him” or “when he looks at me, I feel totally lost” etc.

But then…there comes a time when your sense of self returns! And that’s when the euphoria starts diminishing

………………

…And then, for the first time you can actually add an ‘I’ to ‘love you’; and see if you can live with the two pronouns surrounding one abstract noun 🙂

Posted in A Person's Musings, A Trainer's Diary | Leave a comment

The Talking Buddha!

Last night, I met Buddha in my dream…

………………

He asked me “Why do you look so worn out?

I said “Nothing! Just working hard to get what I want.”

He exclaimed “But then, you should be happy doing it! Then why this burdened look?

I sighed “Well! Ya! It is more because I also have to maintain what I have.”

He looked puzzled, and said “But you should be happy doing that also, because at least you have it.

I said “Ya! But I guess…somewhere I always fear that I will lose what I have”

He asked “why do you fear so”?

I said “Because I don’t want to go through the pain of losing it.”

He chuckled, and said…“You don’t need to actually lose it to go through that pain, because you are already going through that all the time by fearing losing it. So, in fact, eventually when you will lose it, it wouldn’t be a pain anymore…it would rather be the end of the pain”.

He patted on my back and left with a mystery-smile… “So, why laboriously begin something whose end would rather be a relief!

………………

Well! Real richness is when you lose the fear of losing what you have 🙂

Posted in A Person's Musings, A Trainer's Diary, An Entrepreneur's Journey | Leave a comment

The Gift of Affection!

“Love and care is not a prerogative of the ‘named relationships’…they can come from the people who neither share your surname nor are on your fb friend-list or in favorites of your phonebook.

………………

About a year ago, I was in basement of a house in another country thousands of Kilometers away from home, when suddenly, I hurt myself so badly that I couldn’t even move. I spent the whole day on a couch in horrible pain. Although my hosts were supportive but as the evening got darker, I started craving for a more caring presence around.

And then appeared on the door, one of my teammates! He had opted to come all the way from another corner of the city to be with me for the night. Well! For the whole evening and the following night till the next morning, he slept on the floor of the basement beside my bed, attending to my smallest of needs with immense care and warmth. And I slept like a baby… unconcerned with even my own pain.

As I woke up early in the morning…lying on the bed, I couldn’t help but think that strange are the ways of the world! There have been times when even my ‘so called’ closest people were indifferent to my pain, and here was someone, who I knew for just a few days,…so tuned into how I am feeling, and so wholly ‘there’ for me.

Well! Affection is one of God’s most special gems. It cannot be summoned from people tagged to you as ‘your own’, nor can it be ensured by carefully crafting a web of relationships around you. It comes to you in most unlikely situations through the special souls handpicked by God himself…

………………

That morning, as I was getting ready for the day, I couldn’t help but hum the evergreen words from movie Anand“Kahin to ye dil kabhi mil nahin paate…kahin pe nikal aayein janmon ke naate!” 

Posted in A Person's Musings | Leave a comment

The loss-making love!

“When you are in love, every sacrifice feels like a pleasure…and when you fall out of love, every adjustment seems like a sacrifice”.

………………

Yes! ‘Giving’ is the only surest sign of being in love, and estimation of what you ‘got’ is the surest symptom of falling out of it. This holds true for every domain in life. Oh! Let me explain how? Well! When you are in love, the center of your life shifts outside you…

And then one day, it returns. And then starts the calculation – of what is gained and what is lost. And interestingly, eventually everybody finds out that overall he made a loss. So then he thinks that he has found the reason why the relationship did not work – ‘because he got very less and gave a lot more’.

Well! What he forgets is that, all that while when he was happy in the relationship, he was actually making losses…

………………

It’s the calculation that caused the problem. 

Posted in A Person's Musings, A Trainer's Diary | Leave a comment

The angry birds!

“If an emotion comes and goes then its reason is outside you; but whenever an emotion stays for long then its reason lies inside you”.

………………

Anger can be of two types! First type is the one that comes intensely and goes. It is normally directed towards events, and it is only just a side-effect that a part of it spills over to the people involved in that event. Second type is the one that stays. It boils inside at a temperature that lets you neither vent it out nor gulp it. Such anger is normally directed towards people.

But what helps it stay inside? Well! The answer is ‘you’. You provide it the energy needed for its sustenance. And you do it because such anger constantly pumps your ego and after some time, you unknowingly start enjoying the perk of the ‘sense of importance’ that comes with it. And then begins the masochistic pleasure of fueling the very fire that is burning you…

Yes! The fact is that “nothing is more pleasurable than a ‘simmering anger’ inside. It makes you feel alive, strong and an object of significance”.

………………

So, stop blaming others for what you are going through; because it began as a chance but…has now turned into a choice.

Posted in A Person's Musings, A Trainer's Diary | Leave a comment

The stranger you once loved…

The way a relationship goes on tells a lot about the relationship, and the way a relationship ends tells a lot about the people involved in it.

………………

I have known both of them for quite a long time and have been witness to the whole life-cycle of their relationship. And the other day, I happened to be with him at a social occasion, when, as luck would have it, we bumped into her…! Well! I could barely bear the tense awkwardness that persisted in the air during the span for which both of them were around each other.

Eventually, I said to him “Stop giving those nasty looks to her”. To which, he said “Why don’t you tell her to stop doing that first? I don’t even want to see her.” I said “But it is absolutely illogical because you have loved this person for years and how can a feeling that has endured for so many years get overwritten so soon. If not loving, be friendly or at least cordial towards her”. He said “No! It is over. And now I don’t want to have anything to do with her”…

Well! It is ridiculous how two persons, who once are immensely close, suddenly drift so apart that they treat each other either with animosity of a foe or indifference of a stranger. Either way, they not only disrespect what they had once shared, but also demean a part of their own selves that evolved in the process.

………………

The opposite of ‘love’ need not be ‘hate’. It could just very well be…‘once loved’!

Posted in A Person's Musings | Leave a comment

The young that rests less!

“You might feel pleasure on extremes, but the happiness can only be found in ‘balance’!”…is what I said when asked to give final piece of advice to freshers in a college.

………………………

People yearn for peaks, the moments of thrill on the thresholds – the proverbial ‘living on the edge’! That rush of blood through the veins giving a ‘high’ unparalleled, making you feel alive – pulsating and throbbing. It is exhilarating, addictive and a dose of pure delight. That’s why people buy brands, drive fast, party hard, dance dirty, puff pricey and drink bottoms-up. They just want to ‘live it up’.

But the problem with pleasure is that you always seek for that feeling which you had for the ‘first’ time; and it only lasts till the last time you had it. Yes! It just doesn’t add-up! And the result is a generation of people running fast and furiously on a treadmill, only to realize later that they haven’t gone any further.

Well! It is good to be ‘young and restless’ for a while, but the problem is that when you rest less, you don’t remain young for long.

………………………

Yes! In the long run…‘mileage matters’.

 

PS: Oh Crap! I have started sounding so old 🙂 

Posted in A Person's Musings, A Trainer's Diary, An Entrepreneur's Journey | Leave a comment

Happy Birthday to ‘who’? :-)

Someone wished me ‘happy birthday’ today. Actually it is tomorrow”!  

………………

But how does it matter? As in fact, in my birth certificate, it is actually day after tomorrow 🙂 ! And why should my birthday be special for anyone…? Well! Technically speaking, I am at best a coincidence. My parents didn’t know who was coming until I came.

Well! No voice from the sky announced my significance, no guru left his adobe in the Himalayas to come to see my feet, no prophecies were made by some bearded astrologer, and none of my birthmarks was stylish enough to qualify as holy. Ironically, I was born days before the date given by the doctor, at a government hospital surrounded by the opium crop and with an abstract-art of a birthmark just above my butt.

But today, a lot of people think that they know this guy. Well! What do they know about me? I am surely not the traits I have, as I have picked them along the way. I am surely not the roles I play, because I am simply bound by the standard expectations for each one of them. And I am surely not the wishes I make or the goals I set, because they have always kept changing.

And still, caller said “Happy Birthday my unique (trait) mentor (role). What’s your wish?”

………………

Well! Here is everyone wanting to figure out next aspiration of the man I am…

…and here I am, trying to regain the completeness of the child I was 🙂

Posted in A Person's Musings, A Trainer's Diary | Leave a comment

The real self-esteem!

“Strip people off their success, and what remains is their real ‘self-esteem’”!  

………………

He came back home and everyone was waiting in the dining room. He winked at her romantically and gave a half hug to them, looking in their eyes with all the affection.

Then he made a dash to the washroom, came back in a jiffy, and there he was at the dining table, regaling them with his anecdotes of their choice, and squeezing her hand softly while passing the dish. They ate their favorite dessert glued together to the primetime comedy, and then followed a drive in the silence of the day-long shrieking by-lanes.

As they were coming back, she suddenly got reminded of something and asked “Oh! And how did that crucial meeting go?” Well! He looked in the rear mirror at those calm faces that dozed off on the backseat, and said “Ya! We lost that one.”

She put her hand on his hand…and passed by a minute’s silence.

Then she said “A good enough reason to miss tomorrow’s movie?”

He looked at her…

………………

And both said “Naaaah!

…and their laughter resonated in silence of the night 🙂 

Posted in A Person's Musings, A Trainer's Diary | Leave a comment

A ticket to the show…

Someone told me the other day…“Meeting you feels very different from meeting others”.

………………………

Despite all my veil of modesty, I will admit that I haven’t heard this for the first time. Yes! I do get this compliment (hopefully one) quite often. So, while I was driving back through a rainy evening, I kept thinking why people find me that way…

Well! We all go through phases when we are treated with life’s ‘no mercy’ policy. People we need, choose to look away…turn in or simply opt out. And then you realize that people are with you for their reasons, not yours. That day, you have a choice – either to be cynical or to be an existentialist.

Years back, I opted for the latter one.

So now, when I meet someone (at whatever regularity), I talk, listen, laugh, despise, get hurt, trust, avoid, opine and do all the normal stuff but I don’t store impressions. So when I meet them next time I only have the necessary factual-information about them in my database to refer to.

Yes! I don’t see them as events, I see them as processes.

Thus, every morning as I open my eyes, I approach the day as if I have a ticket to a show…! And I watch this grand drama of life getting unfolded – layer by layer – admiring the playwright for the nuanced and dynamic characterization in an unpredictable plot.

………………………

And I know this drama would continue endlessly. It’s just that one day I would run out of currency to buy a ticket and thus would give up on the hassle to wake up. 🙂

Posted in A Person's Musings, A Trainer's Diary, An Entrepreneur's Journey | Leave a comment