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The other day, in a session on ‘managing self’, the trainees had a field day pulling my leg. I look forward to such experiences because then I can personally join them in the fun…testing how sorted my ‘professional self’ is at his craft.

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Well! There is hardly a greater delight than an intelligent demanding group of trainees discussing a sensitive topic in good humor. So, while we were talking on concept of ‘nature vs. nurture’, one of them asked with a grin “Sir! When that beautiful girl walked into the hall, did you look at her for a second longer? After all, you are still young enough!”

Amid laughter in the hall (mine included), I bit my lip and said with mischief “Yes! I must admit, there was an attraction…but rest assured…it didn’t convert into a distraction”.

I explained… “Attraction depends upon how attractive someone is…but distraction depends upon how attracted you are”.

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In response to their sensible acknowledging smiles, I concluded the answer:

“If former doesn’t happen then you have failed the test of hormones… and if latter keeps happening, then you have failed the test of will-power” 🙂

PS: There was a bigger laughter when I phased out with an audible murmur saying “It worked this time. But you never know…” 🙂

“You can never establish your innocence if you don’t shout, don’t emote, or aren’t the first one to tell the tale”.

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Because by then, the impressions are all made, on the basis of the version that reached the ears first! Now, that is taken as the ‘original’, and yours is measured against it. You are no more the ‘accepted’, you are the ‘challenger’. Now you can’t just tell…you have to prove.

So, now you have to make your version more convincing and make yourself more persuasive. You have to weave the story in such a manner that it wins over the audience. You keep setting the right mood, mode and tone to the whole act, until it becomes a ‘foolproof manuscript’…

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…only to realize that it is no more… ‘authentic’.

“There are some people in your life that you bear only because…

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…they are important to people who are important to you!”

It is a thankless pursuit, and it feels as if all the time and the energy that you have to put-in to somehow bear the entire charade is a sort of fixed cost that you are supposed to incur irrespective of what you are getting out of it. Well! All said, it does get unbearable at times, and you want to break away from the whole drudgery.

But then you have to remind yourself that this short-term inconvenience has to be borne to sustain the overall stability of your life. Whether you see it as a sacrifice or a compromise, it is there to be made. And you have to muster all the mental and emotional guts within yourself to go through the grind every time it reappears.

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So! You ought to learn to suffer fools. They are inevitable part of life. And well! If you still find it difficult… just remind yourself that someone must be bearing you for precisely the same reason. 🙂 

“”

…was a beautiful line that a dear reader of my blog mentioned in one of her responses. Well! Couldn’t be more true!

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Yes! It seems to be a season of breakups!

Ironically, I haven’t ever heard so many people ‘calling it off’ as I have heard of in the past few weeks. All those relationships were of all shapes and sizes, but interestingly, one thing that is common among all of them was the reason behind the breakup – ‘dissimilar expectations’.

Yes! In each of the relationships, the two persons were looking for two different things. While one wanted an ‘hourly update’ interaction, the other wanted ‘no strings attached’ type… while one wanted physical intimacy, the other wanted ‘tender talks’… while one saw it as a ‘part of life’, the other saw it as ‘life’…and the best of all…while one wanted commitment, the other wanted more time to ‘understand each other’.

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People don’t realize this, but the fact is that the key to a successful relationship is ‘similar expectations’.

…Rest all takes care of itself 🙂

The species that is at most risk of extinction is not tigers or turtles; it is…‘listeners’…

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… someone who can sit in front of you without… a rush to be somewhere else, a tendency to check on a gadget, an attempt to look over your shoulder, a temptation to glance at the watch, or a restlessness to interject at a pause.

…someone who isn’t busy… forming an opinion, reaching a conclusion or preparing a reply.

Well! You might ask that then what’s the use of such listening? Okay! Then let me ask something. How about doing something not for ‘utility’, but simply for…

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… ‘Sensitivity’.

“I know he had not pushed me, but…he should have held me when I was going down”… she said, with moist eyes.

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It is unfair to expect everyone to be fair towards you. After all, in a world where each of us has to sustain his own, someone would surely end up putting a foot on your tail. Intentionally or otherwise, it will be done to you. That’s the way ball bounces…

But then, there are people who you consider as your own…with whom you go back a long way. And you share an unsaid commitment with them – a commitment that they would ‘stand by’ you, or at least ‘stand for’ you.

And when they stand indifferent to your falling, witnessing it all with cold eyes and a shrug…then something inside you breaks. And the resultant pain doesn’t make you scream, because you are just too hurt to register the pain.

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Well! What hurts more is not the offender, but the ‘silence’ of the one who was expected to defend you…

At times, all you want from life is “No high, no low… just a…gentle flow”.

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So habituated have we become to the addiction of a ‘happening’ life that we forget the sheer bliss of a life just flowing effortlessly…

Some moments when the mind is neither positive nor negative, but is just staying in neutrality… Just the usual heartbeat and belly breathing…Just blending with surroundings and complete absorption into what is going on…Surrendering to the vastness of life without intellectualizing or sentimentalizing.

In short, when we aren’t hurried into meaningless pursuit of finding a meaning to life…

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Just like going on a long drive. No destination…no deadlines… 🙂