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Most of us prefer to intellectualize a concept than to simply put it into practice.

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Actually, it is convenient to be a thinker. It doesn’t take much – permutations of some good ideas… combinations of some nice words and here it is – the perfect recipe for reputation. Of course there is a lot of mental gymnastics involved to make it sound and seem slightly (yup, even a shade slightly will do) different from all the ideas floating all over the digital space.

On the other hand, putting a concept into practice is cumbersome. You have to rise beyond the abstract vanity of knowing something and get down to the consuming process of ‘doing’ something. Yup, there are no phrases to hide behind and no idioms coming to your rescue. You got to roll up your sleeves, pull up your socks, and get your hands dirty in the pursuit of change.

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… And that, I tell you, is soooooo hard; or else… why would I be thinking all this 🙂

It is difficult to deal with people who are not bad but are difficult.

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There are some people in your life who don’t quite qualify as ‘bad’ – because they don’t shout, they don’t use abusive language, they don’t plot against you, they don’t talk behind your back, they don’t cheat you, or for that matter they don’t even wish you any evil.

But they are very ‘difficult’ – they are rigid, they are cold, they are distant, they get on to your nerves, they can be slightly mean, they can overlook your presence, they stonewall in conversations, they don’t cooperate, they are not willing to change, they are self-centered.

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And what’s more painful is that, in dealing with second type of people, you often risk becoming one of the first type 🙂

Kids suffer most when while being brought up, they get ‘polar-opposite inputs regarding life’ from each of their parents.

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And here I am not talking about ‘difference of opinions’ but ‘difference of approaches towards basic matters like… managing oneself, relating to people, and living life”. Yes, regarding this, if they receive absolutely contrasting inputs then they are not able to bear this ambiguity, and eventually suffer.

In fact, I am not talking only about kids. I am actually talking about any form of ‘combined creation’ – whether it is a proposition, a project, or… an organization. When the co-creators have a clashingly different conception of the same thing in their minds then eventually the ‘creation’ suffers.

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Differences are healthy, but not in the very fundamental sense.

In life, most people only address those questions whose answers they can bear.

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Most people avoid big questions of life and keep themselves busy with small ones. And they do so not because they can’t find answers of big questions, but because they are not ready for their answers. This way, they are able to get through another day without much fuss, and save themselves from a discomforting reality-check.

It is more of a plea than a ploy – to sustain a pace of life they find solace in. It is more of a shield they hold to hide themselves from the mirror that stands staring at them. Yes, it is a defense mechanism that they adopt – to maintain the notion of ‘all is well’. However, the question is… “Is really all well”?

But you see, most of the people won’t answer this question, because…

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…this is precisely the kind of question they want to avoid. 🙂

Life is still the best school. Experience is still the best teacher 🙂

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The only difference is that their pedagogy is different. It is not sequential, linear or literal. It is metaphoric, analogical and interpretative. Thus, every incident, every episode, every pain, every humiliation, every smile, every surprise – all of them are lessons in the garb of events.

But they are not ‘declared’ as lessons and don’t look like them. It’s your own duty to look at them with an observant eye to derive the learning. However, it is possible only when you look at ‘what you are going through’ as a process to progressively hone you into a better version of yourself.

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Yes, if you bring an already-full cup, everything spills over. And if you bring a blank slate, you go back with words of wisdom written on it. 🙂

Kindness is doing good to someone you don’t expect to meet again. J    

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The other day, rain was in the air, and traffic was picking up. As I drove towards a square, an old man was crossing the road. He looked at me, and with a dominance befitting his age, he showed his palm to me, signaling to wait. I could have accelerated to pass quickly, but I stopped, and so did two more cars. Well! As he crossed the road, an elevating smile was visible on his face.

His smile reminded me of an old ad of a bike, in which a young couple is riding on the bike, with girl holding the boy tightly from behind. Suddenly they see an unrelated old man coming. As the old man notices the couple, the girl gradually pulls back her arms, folds her hands behind her back and bows slightly as if wishing. Well! As the couple passes him, old man smiles a ‘touched & touching’ smile.

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Well! Individualism is good, yet how about mixing some old-school ‘kindness & respect’ to make some old people smile. 🙂

Every relationship has its issues. They become ‘problems’ only when you stop talking about them.   

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It typically goes this way – one of the two gets so frustrated with an issue that he (or she) gives up, and becomes quiet. He doesn’t raise it anymore, or circumvents when it resurfaces. As a result, the other person feels that it is no more ‘an issue’. So both start pretending as if the issue doesn’t even exist. And that’s when the charade starts hurting…

Yes, though the first person avoids confrontation, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about it. He still does, but he thinks he is buying peace. However, he is wrong, as silence is not peace. Just because he doesn’t express doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. So, slowly, that effort to hide emotion becomes manipulative and corrosive, leading to gradual distancing of two persons.

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So TALK; as a relationship devoid of ‘genuine connection’ is merely an ‘arrangement’ for others to see.

We don’t live in bungalows, duplexes or flats. We live in our minds.  

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Yes, that’s our permanent residence. And there are no constraints of square-feet there. It’s a vast space with unlimited area. And you know what! No matter how well-organized your rooms, balconies, garages and verandas are, life is good only when things are sorted there – in your mind.

And that’s where we keep things messy – regrets piling up in one corner, expectations stuffed in a closet, secrets under the carpet, worries littered everywhere, comparisons spilt on the table, complexes leaking from an old bottle, and grudges stinking in a box.

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Mind it! For this ‘real home’ of yours, you can’t outsource housekeeping. You got to do it yourself. 🙂

Never silence your critics. They make you think what admirers never can.

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It is unfortunate that we have begun to become a generation that likes to feel good all the time. It’s like we have developed this insatiable desire for praise and appreciation. What we don’t realize is that this hunger to be ‘liked’ is becoming a handicap of sorts, not allowing us to evolve. Well! Critics help in this regard.

Wait! By ‘critics’, I don’t mean people who comment on your work without understanding it, or take a potshot at you just to get a reaction, or suggest without cognizance of ‘where you are coming from’. By ‘critics’, I mean people who really know ‘you’, ‘your domain’, ‘your progression’ and ‘your pursuit’.

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When such ‘critics’ speak, steady yourself… bow a little… and LISTEN 🙂