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Success isn’t about doing one thing greater, but doing many things little better.

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In a world where people are hell-bent on attaching ‘success’ with words like ‘secret’, ‘mantra’ or ‘code’, it looks clichéd to talk about success as a process of incremental progression. However, that’s precisely what it is. Except some cases of serendipity, ‘process’ still remains the norm in every domain.

So don’t try to ‘find’, ‘search’ or ‘get’ success, rather ‘work towards’ it. It’s a journey which is best relished when taken. Don’t make it look like an event that happens, it is a momentum that builds bit by bit, and finally culminates into an event – an event which is actually outcome of a process.

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So, the final word on success is – read the whole book to reach this final word. 🙂 

If your closest people don’t join you in your battles then don’t hold it against them.

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I mean they didn’t sign up for standing by your side for everything. Did you ask them before making that move against the odds? Did you consult them before that stupid rush of blood you surrendered to? Did you pay heed to their words when you decided to not toe the line?

Well! Honestly, if it was optional for you to include them in your choices, it is always optional for them to shoulder the weight of the consequences of your actions. So now stop blaming them for leaving you alone. They are as much entitled to make their choices as you were.

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And above all…why do you forget that they also have their own battles that you are not aware of.

Monks are all in the mountains, we are just lesser mortals at work.  

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There is no book or meditation-technique that makes you absolutely neutral. I mean, I have never met a person who doesn’t get hurt when they fall. Yes, when things go wrong, it is natural to feel bad…and may be a bit bitter. It’s a knee-jerk reaction which only proves that there is a sensation.

Problem starts when you begin to attach negative outcomes with your self-esteem… when you begin to take criticism as a personal assault…when you see a roadblock as the end of the road for you…when you see booing as a hint for you to retire…or when you take an episode as a writing on the wall.

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That’s when you should rush to the mountain, not to be a monk, but to take a break. 🙂 

For people falling in love in this era, it will be a rare privilege to have a partner who is loving yet ‘low maintenance…no melodrama…less fluctuation’.     

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Most modern relationships seem to be coming straight out of either a sentimental serial of an Indian channel, or an American web-series’ Indian imitation. No seriously! These days, there are two major formats in relationships – In one, partners are so obsessed with each other that they are suffocating each other by being together all the time or intertwining their lives needlessly.

And in the other type, partners are connected so superficially as if they have downloaded a trial version of some software and keep using it but keep clicking on ‘Later’ when there is a question about registering. My God, what madness! Polar opposites in same era. But you know what, then there are a few rare lucky relationships, in which, both partners know that love is…

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…to anchor someone without cutting their wings. 🙂 

Don’t blame people for not moving on. It takes time…

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When your words or deeds hurt someone or cause harm, you cannot expect that a ‘sorry’ should mend it immediately. After all, your ‘sorry’ came either out of guilt that you felt at your convenience or introspection that you did at your own pace.

Moreover, you can’t estimate the magnitude of loss or the intensity of resultant pain, as it is ‘their’ loss. So, it’s unfair of you to expect that the other person should shed it off and look ahead just like that. They will take time to come to that point.

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You got to understand that your ‘Sorry’ cannot bring back what they lost.

No matter how well-known or well-connected you are, it’s always those few relationships with your closest people that define the quality of your life.  

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In the era of networking, most people seldom pause to see when networking is not working for them. In the race to maximize the ‘number’ of people they can reach, they fail to see that the ‘extent’ of their reach to people begins to decline.

And then starts an unfortunate contradiction. They have many people connected to them through virtual networks and numerous associations, but they lack the ‘depth of connect’, especially with people who they actually spend their most time with.

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It is this mismatch between their ‘public persona’ and ‘private persona’ that slowly corrodes the quality of life.

I don’t know about power; but with love surely comes… great responsibility.

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Every relationship takes its share of time and energy. You can’t just plug-in and plug-out and hope it to be self-sustaining. Form may vary, but every relation demands its due share of investment and commands its lock-in period.

This is the reason why most relationships lose steam quickly. As, in the beginning, it seems that it is all about emotions. However, people later realize that it is also about expectations, obligations, clarifications, and adaptations.

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You know what! Chasing is fun; but when it ends…the relationship begins. 🙂 

Wisdom shouldn’t become a burden.

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After session at a prestigious university, on my way to airport, I was accompanied by another guest. Well! The moment car entered city’s peak-hour traffic, he started telling whose wrongly parked car was causing the traffic…how shameless roadside vendor was to occupy the space…and all similar stuff about how things should be.

Interestingly, while he was all worked up, the driver did not complain or cringe even once, and made his way amid chaos. Well! As I exited car and saw the still-smiling driver, I wondered why we – the literate people – don’t understand that just because we know the right way in which the world should function, doesn’t mean that…

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…the world functions that way. 🙂 

Strong men don’t need to raise the volume of their voice to exercise influence.

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For strong men, the weight of their words is enough to get their point across and establish their stand clearly. They don’t use sarcasm to pinch, satire to poke, taunts to get even, swearwords to hurt, arrogance to generate awe, or backbiting to release grudges.

They look into eye when they talk and listen. They own their opinions, but are courageous enough to change them when exceptions outnumber evidences. They customize the manner but never the matter. They don’t disown their choices, but don’t defend them needlessly.

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Where are they? The strong men, who are manly enough to… not have to flaunt their manliness. 

I have always been amazed at people’s unwillingness to see the obvious because it doesn’t match their perception.

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As my work is at the intersection of management and psychology, I get a chance to address, teach, meet, and counsel a lot of people. And every now and then, I come across someone who I see rejecting all pieces of fact, evidence, or experience, just because those pieces don’t fit into their perception about things and people.

I have seen entrepreneurs refusing to accept their mistakes, managers refusing to admit their shortcomings, parents refusing to see their kids’ follies, and lovers refusing to see their partner’s flaws. And worse, they irrationally (and shamelessly) ignore or defend what cannot be (and must not be) ignored or defended.

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I call them ‘mind blind’; and it is much more unfortunate than being blind.