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Sometimes, your life’s balance hinges on your ability to bear and ignore.

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There are times when you end up getting blocked in an arrangement where you can’t change the people around you because maintaining status quo is the need of the hour, and also you can’t get back at them because you are too sensitive to stand awkwardness of working or living in a strained environment.

Now begins the test of your maturity! You want to complain but you don’t. You want to shout but you can’t. You want to leave but that just isn’t an option. So then you breathe in breathe out heavily to tolerate the heaviness in your head. But then there are days when it gets too weighty for your head.

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On such days, remind yourself of ‘why’ you are doing it, and then… do it.

You can’t go into each mind and correct your impressions made there.

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Each one of us exists as a set of images in people’s heads. These images never (yes! never) represent our reality. They are always twisted, tweaked, morphed, imagined, projected or exaggerated. And the best part is that people play with these images to suit their intents and purposes.

As long as this ‘playing’ is on positive side, we all enjoy it. The problem is when people misinterpret you, go on to misrepresent you in the world out there, and other people begin to believe their version of you. And here you are! Frustrated and helpless. Well, what to do then?

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Nothing. Why fight images and shadows? Just stay invested in your reality.

Sometimes it is good to blend with the background and let someone else receive the applause.

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To work well with people, more than a bigger brain, one requires a larger heart. It includes sharing credit, forgiving mistakes, ignoring foibles, relinquishing rights, bearing shortchange, and giving up claims. Of course, doing all this isn’t easy because most of it doesn’t feel good.

That’s why, the ultimate test of character is to make sacrifices that are not even spotted, and still smile with contentment because ‘you’ were watching yourself make them in the larger interest. Well, it is not a role for weak-hearted. It requires reasonably high self-esteem and maturity.

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Yes, sometimes one needs to be strong enough to let someone else look stronger.

If you want to own every room you are in, it spells ‘t.r.o.u.b.l.e.’ for your relationships.

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Some people always want to be at the center of every circle. They sulk when the spotlight shifts. They become out of place if they are not getting attention. They can’t lose their identity and become ‘just one of them’ in a room full of happy people. They have a need to be seen and heard all the time.

Such people find it hard to build a happy family, a fulfilled relationship, or a feel-good team. However, if they are lucky, they get people who bear them and make adjustments to somehow manage to create a sense of normalcy in their apparatus. But such victims of self-importance must understand that…

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…to have colors in your life, you have to be, not a commanding brush, but an ‘accepting canvas’.

In life, all targets are moving targets.

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When you are stable inside, you look for instability outside; and when you are unstable inside, you look for stability outside. But the problem comes when, at the outset, you are stable, but somewhere along the way, the instability of outside begins to creep inside. That’s when things start to crumble.

Well, no matter how much we admire superhuman traits, fact remains that we all are humans and will revert to our biological & psychological limitations. So, while chasing our target, we must also remind ourselves that all targets are moving targets, and thus we are not going to ever get them every time.

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Appreciation of this fact keeps our sanity intact.

Holding one person entirely responsible for your misery is a ‘lie’ you love to believe. 

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There is always someone who attracts the hatred in you – a boss, a colleague, a partner; a parent, a beloved, a relative. This one person suddenly becomes ‘THE ONE’. Everything that goes wrong with you eventually finds the source in this one person, who becomes a bundle of badness.

While this person might have a role to play in your problems, the role is nowhere of the proportion you start to attribute. In fact, often this one person actually ‘incurs’ cost on behalf of many others –  feelings related to whom are cumulatively directed towards this one ‘representative villain’.

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Distribute your hatred to an extent that everyone seems a little rascal, but no ONE a scoundrel.

Don’t make people uncomfortable if they don’t follow your advice.

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Unless you are in official capacity or have a stake in the matter, you have to let people use their right to ‘not listen’ to you even if you are right. This is true even when people had come on their own to ask for your advice. After all, it’s their life and thus their prerogative to choose their pick.

So don’t fill them with guilt of not paying heed just because you want to take an indirect pride in being proven right. Please understand that every advice, no matter how good it is, has to be seen in the light of feasibility, familiarity and fitness in one’s larger scheme of things.

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Inspire faith and trust in people, not guilt and regret.

While giving feedback, learn to convey ‘observations’ without guessing the reasons.

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Learn to say “I have observed that…” without adding “And you do it because…”! Yes, people receive feedback as long as they feel they have an equal standing in the discussion. The moment they sense that the other person is not giving them enough space on the mat, they disown the matter.

Then they become defensive, offensive, disinterested or cynical. They start telling themselves that this is no more a discussion but just an opportunity for the other person to offload speculations, hypotheses, selective evidences and preconceived notions to fit the inferences that serve him well.

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So have an agreement on observations, let them tell the reasons, and then discuss further.

You can’t divide life into weekdays and weekends.

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‘Monday Blues’ is a reality. And it has less to do with one’s vocation and more about the incapacitating mindset inherited from generations of civilized humans. It’s true that not everyone enjoys what they are doing to earn a living or preparing to be able to do so; and many are compelled to pick what’s available.

However, let’s pick what’s still within our choice – our attitude. Let’s not just look for meaning but ‘create meaning’ by adjusting our aspirations in tune with our abilities and conditions. Let’s bring an attitude that helps us see our life as one coherent story flowing through our days with ebb and flow.

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Rather than waiting for ‘life’ to come to us, let’s fill it in all ordinary moments.

When you are really in love, you have less complaints with the world.

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Real love isn’t about sad songs of dejected beloveds, jarring dialogues of obsessed lovers, shocking scenes of people breaking things, lonely walks of clueless individuals wearing a hoody, depressed pouters refusing to open the door, oversensitive douchebags dumped in smoke & smell, or cynical loners giving generalized statements about how world works.

Unless it is your first infatuation when hormones do wreak some havoc, any of the above symptoms tells less about ‘emotion’ and more about ‘person’. In reality, real love makes you more settled, less restless, more focused, less insecure, more empathetic and less aggressive. And even if it doesn’t work out, you ‘accept with pain’ yet ‘part with grace’ and ‘move on with gratitude’.

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Yes! When you are really in love, you have more love in you.