What ‘brings people close’ and what ‘keeps them together’ is different.
……….
As she sat clueless in front of me, she knew she should have paid heed to my suggestion.
Yes! Though it all looked perfect between them, the cracks were visible to me quite a long time back (after all, I boast of teaching social intelligence). And I had given her hint about it but she had brushed it aside by saying “Everything is fine”. ‘Fine…’ Well! To me, that’s a dreaded word when it comes to relationships, because it is an ‘emotionally neutral’ word.
And while an emotionally-neutral state is often desirable in a relationship to bring stability to it, yet when ‘cool’ becomes ‘cold’, it is often just tip of the iceberg. The fact is that the real problems in relationships are not when one is interested or uninterested in the partner, but when one is ‘disinterested’. Yes! ‘Indifference is the silent corroder of relationships’, and it hurts without hurting.
But where did it go wrong? Well! It was one single giant mistake on their part. They did not realize that as time passed, they were changing, and so were their expectations from each other. Yet, they had got stuck in each other’s perceptions formed during the initial stage of their relationship. And because they still cared for each other, they avoided confronting and gradually started bypassing each other in the name of ‘allowing each other space’.
And that ‘space’ did them in. It kept getting larger, and soon they were two islands separated by frozen waters in between.
……….
In relationships, one should always remember that ‘wishing that things shouldn’t change’ doesn’t mean…‘they aren’t changing’.
About Sandeep Atre
Dr. Sandeep Atre:
• Counseling Psychologist and an internationally recognized ‘Emotional & Social Intelligence’ Expert, with experience of more than two decades in helping people ‘sort out’ and ‘excel in’ intrapersonal and interpersonal matters. He holds a PhD in Management and a Master’s degree in Psychology (www.dratrecounsels.com).
• Founder of Socialigence – a venture specializing in development of ‘Social & Emotional Intelligence’ and its offshoot interpersonal skills through workshops and an award-winning online course rooted in neuroscience and psychology (www.socialigence.net).
• Author of two books related to his domain, namely - “Understanding Emotions Logically” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior”; and third book on various aspects of life, named “Two Paras of Everyday Wisdom”. Moreover, the collection of his Nazms and Ghazals is published as a book titled “Baat Jazbaat Ki”.
• Corporate Trainer, with experience of close to two decades. Has conducted 150+ workshops/sessions for 50+ organizations & institutions like CSC, Cummins, Piramal, Ranbaxy, Lupin, Bridgestone, Michelin, Eicher, Maruti, Force, Idea, Airtel, NBHC, SBI, HDFC, L&T, Zydus, Thapar University, Banasthali, Narsee Monjee, Symbiosis, IIFM Bhopal, Azim Premji University, Nirma, Welingkar & IBS Hyderabad.
• Co-Founder and Director of CH EdgeMakers – a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ organization of central India for more than 24 years. He has trained close to 100 thousand students for ‘Soft Skills’ & ‘Entrance & Recruitment Preparation’ (www.ch-india.com).
• ‘Management Speaker and Orator’. Has featured at platforms like TEDx, IIM, IIT, NIT, CII, YI, CII-IWN, TCS, IMA, ICAI, ECA, ISHRAE, NEN, Sahodaya, Aditya Birla Education Academy, Round Table, LinkedIn Local, Rotary International, MP State’s Teachers’ Training, Academic Staff College DAVV, Police University Rajasthan, Police Training Academy Indore & more than 100 institutions.
• Member of noted associations and boards. Has been an ‘Executive Committee’ member of Indore Management Association. Associate Editor of IMA publications. Governing Council Member of Banasthali University’s SBBJ Centre for Research in MSME & Promotion of Entrepreneurship in Women. Executive Member of IMS, DAVV Alumni Association. Member of Rotary International’s ‘Group Study Exchange’ team to Minnesota, USA. ESI Coach with FWSA Australia.
Note: For glimpses of work, watch YouTube Channel ‘Dr. Sandeep Atre at Socialigence’.
