She is away from home…feels depressed…mostly lives in nostalgia, denying her ‘present’ the space it deserves in her life…
………………
The other day, as she talked to me about how much she suffers because she misses her family, I said to her what I always wanted to. I said…
“Well! That’s not your family; it is your parents’ family!”
She looked shocked. So I elaborated…
“Yes! That’s not your family; it is your parents’ family! You are a part of it. ‘Your’ family would be the one that you would build in the times to come”.
She looked confused. So, I explained…
“Look! A seed can see itself belonging to the tree whose fruit it is a part of, or it can see itself belonging to the tree whose root lies within it. The fact is that it is ‘both’”.
I went on further…
“You feel lonely and away because you are seeing your ‘present’ in terms of your ‘past connections’. But if you would see your ‘present’ in terms of your ‘future connections’ then you would find that this period is the one of transition. And ‘transitions’ are usually lonely and uncomfortable! But, you have to see it as a preparatory period for the roles that your future holds for you – the period in which you can learn to see yourself as an ‘individual’ and develop ‘self-reliance’ which is an ‘essential’ for playing your future roles effectively”.
I could see her expressions changing…
………………
Well! Yes! It is important for one to be emotional and dutiful towards one’s past connections, yet one should not stay sentimental and ‘clinging’ to those connections. The truth is… “The only way one’s past connections can prove their strength is by… preparing one for one’s future”. 🙂
About Sandeep Atre
Dr. Sandeep Atre:
• Counseling Psychologist and an internationally recognized ‘Emotional & Social Intelligence’ Expert, with experience of more than two decades in helping people ‘sort out’ and ‘excel in’ intrapersonal and interpersonal matters. He holds a PhD in Management and a Master’s degree in Psychology (www.dratrecounsels.com).
• Founder of Socialigence – a venture specializing in development of ‘Social & Emotional Intelligence’ and its offshoot interpersonal skills through workshops and an award-winning online course rooted in neuroscience and psychology (www.socialigence.net).
• Author of two books related to his domain, namely - “Understanding Emotions Logically” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior”; and third book on various aspects of life, named “Two Paras of Everyday Wisdom”. Moreover, the collection of his Nazms and Ghazals is published as a book titled “Baat Jazbaat Ki”.
• Corporate Trainer, with experience of close to two decades. Has conducted 150+ workshops/sessions for 50+ organizations & institutions like CSC, Cummins, Piramal, Ranbaxy, Lupin, Bridgestone, Michelin, Eicher, Maruti, Force, Idea, Airtel, NBHC, SBI, HDFC, L&T, Zydus, Thapar University, Banasthali, Narsee Monjee, Symbiosis, IIFM Bhopal, Azim Premji University, Nirma, Welingkar & IBS Hyderabad.
• Co-Founder and Director of CH EdgeMakers – a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ organization of central India for more than 24 years. He has trained close to 100 thousand students for ‘Soft Skills’ & ‘Entrance & Recruitment Preparation’ (www.ch-india.com).
• ‘Management Speaker and Orator’. Has featured at platforms like TEDx, IIM, IIT, NIT, CII, YI, CII-IWN, TCS, IMA, ICAI, ECA, ISHRAE, NEN, Sahodaya, Aditya Birla Education Academy, Round Table, LinkedIn Local, Rotary International, MP State’s Teachers’ Training, Academic Staff College DAVV, Police University Rajasthan, Police Training Academy Indore & more than 100 institutions.
• Member of noted associations and boards. Has been an ‘Executive Committee’ member of Indore Management Association. Associate Editor of IMA publications. Governing Council Member of Banasthali University’s SBBJ Centre for Research in MSME & Promotion of Entrepreneurship in Women. Executive Member of IMS, DAVV Alumni Association. Member of Rotary International’s ‘Group Study Exchange’ team to Minnesota, USA. ESI Coach with FWSA Australia.
Note: For glimpses of work, watch YouTube Channel ‘Dr. Sandeep Atre at Socialigence’.
