emotion banking…

“What went wrong between you and Reena?”… Journalist asked him on Walk the Talk…

Aamir paused for a while… and said (based on my memory) “Well! Just the way you can’t access a Joint-account without both the signatures, how can I talk about our relationship to any third person alone! It’ll be unfair to her if she isn’t present while you and I discuss it!”

…this conversation took place years back; after Aamir Khan and his wife decided to go their separate ways ‘gracefully’…! I remember it discretely, because it wasn’t just a thought…but a school of thought!

………….

Nothing takes more toll on a person than the emotional-toil of a close-relationship melting down! Be it a romantic…friendly…familial…or professional one, when it fractures, it hurts!

But what’s surprising is the fact that the moment it’s down…people want it out! Now everything about that relationship starts looking ugly…! All that is left is…the bitterness of betrayal…the hostility of hatred… and the cry of victimization!

It seems that there weren’t ever any good moments (if so, then why the hell were you there in the first place?)… And even if you recall a few, it just worsens how you feel! It is simply amazing how, when relation ends, both sides feel ditched, exploited or ignored!

This is sheer injustice to the relationship…

No child is ever illegitimate…parents can be! (I love it when Masaba – daughter of Viv Richards & Neena Gupta – calls herself a ‘Lovechild’)! Same is with relationship. Fine! It did not work out! But that doesn’t prove ‘all that had gone between’ worthless! How can a ‘bad end’ erase all the great beginnings and good midst? With due respect to the pain, you should still be proud of what you shared…and lived!

In fact…You need to understand that people enter into relationships for their own reasons…and exit for their own! Most of the times, it doesn’t have much to do with you…! I know you would ask that why then are you being victimized for it…? But then…didn’t you enter the relationship pretty well knowing its integral feature…Vulnerability!!!   

So now… hold yourself in high self-esteem, pick the flakes delicately and walk out with dignity…being proud of what you gave and got!

………..  

Aamir was right…Relationship is indeed a joint-account, with the only difference that it can’t be closed overnight! So until the time completes the formalities, maintain a balance in that account… It would give you emotional-funds to invest in the next relationship…!

Else… you would end up hating, not just that person…but your ‘own self’ that you shared!

About Sandeep Atre

Dr. Sandeep Atre: • Counseling Psychologist and an internationally recognized ‘Emotional & Social Intelligence’ Expert, with experience of more than two decades in helping people ‘sort out’ and ‘excel in’ intrapersonal and interpersonal matters. He holds a PhD in Management and a Master’s degree in Psychology (www.dratrecounsels.com). • Founder of Socialigence – a venture specializing in development of ‘Social & Emotional Intelligence’ and its offshoot interpersonal skills through workshops and an award-winning online course rooted in neuroscience and psychology (www.socialigence.net). • Author of two books related to his domain, namely - “Understanding Emotions Logically” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior”; and third book on various aspects of life, named “Two Paras of Everyday Wisdom”. Moreover, the collection of his Nazms and Ghazals is published as a book titled “Baat Jazbaat Ki”. • Corporate Trainer, with experience of close to two decades. Has conducted 150+ workshops/sessions for 50+ organizations & institutions like CSC, Cummins, Piramal, Ranbaxy, Lupin, Bridgestone, Michelin, Eicher, Maruti, Force, Idea, Airtel, NBHC, SBI, HDFC, L&T, Zydus, Thapar University, Banasthali, Narsee Monjee, Symbiosis, IIFM Bhopal, Azim Premji University, Nirma, Welingkar & IBS Hyderabad. • Co-Founder and Director of CH EdgeMakers – a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ organization of central India for more than 24 years. He has trained close to 100 thousand students for ‘Soft Skills’ & ‘Entrance & Recruitment Preparation’ (www.ch-india.com). • ‘Management Speaker and Orator’. Has featured at platforms like TEDx, IIM, IIT, NIT, CII, YI, CII-IWN, TCS, IMA, ICAI, ECA, ISHRAE, NEN, Sahodaya, Aditya Birla Education Academy, Round Table, LinkedIn Local, Rotary International, MP State’s Teachers’ Training, Academic Staff College DAVV, Police University Rajasthan, Police Training Academy Indore & more than 100 institutions. • Member of noted associations and boards. Has been an ‘Executive Committee’ member of Indore Management Association. Associate Editor of IMA publications. Governing Council Member of Banasthali University’s SBBJ Centre for Research in MSME & Promotion of Entrepreneurship in Women. Executive Member of IMS, DAVV Alumni Association. Member of Rotary International’s ‘Group Study Exchange’ team to Minnesota, USA. ESI Coach with FWSA Australia. Note: For glimpses of work, watch YouTube Channel ‘Dr. Sandeep Atre at Socialigence’.
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