“In life, loyalties can shift so quickly that at times it is hard to believe if they were really there in the first place”…
……….
I must have been around ten. In those days, unlike today, houses of a colony hardly had their doors closed, except when people were sleeping or weren’t at home. In such an era, we had this strange fascination of making ‘bhaiyyas’ and ‘didis’ (as if each one of us did not have enough of them). And the best part was that we would be staunchly devoted to them (even more than to our own). I had one such didi and we would meet mostly in summer vacation.
Now, this didi and one bhaiyya liked each other in a special way. And I was one of the messengers for them (I faintly recall that I had even taken an oath to swallow the chit if I would get caught). Yes! Those were innocently exciting days when love involved a lot of chemistry, introductory physics, and hardly any biology. And strangely, for me, it was a love-story that was as dear to me as it was to the protagonists.
But, one not-so-fine day, didi told me that they had broken up, and that she will have to marry someone else. For days, I remember feeling the blues… I was devastated!
However, what devastated me more was the fact that within a few weeks, I saw didi talking about this new arranged man in her life with the same (even more) attachment with which she used to talk about ‘the bhaiyya’ she had been with for years.
I was sad, I was angry, and more than that… I was ‘confused’.
Well! In years to come, I witnessed such shifting of sides in all realms – families, friends, relatives, colleagues, associates etc. And as I matured, my sadness, anger and confusion turned into curiosity. Moreover, when I chose a stream of ‘helping people develop themselves’, I started studying every such shift more minutely…
And in the pursuit, I realized that while people like to love, care, cater and benefit; more than that, they want to be loved, ‘cared for’, ‘catered to’ and ‘get benefitted’. And whenever they see a promise of a lasting and convenient supply of all this, more often than not, most of them shift their loyalties.
It is natural. It is logical. And it is…‘human’.
……….
But you know what! Even after all the insight and maturity, I still feel sad for that bhaiyya.
However…I seem to have forgiven didi. 🙂
About Sandeep Atre
Dr. Sandeep Atre:
• Counseling Psychologist and an internationally recognized ‘Emotional & Social Intelligence’ Expert, with experience of more than two decades in helping people ‘sort out’ and ‘excel in’ intrapersonal and interpersonal matters. He holds a PhD in Management and a Master’s degree in Psychology (www.dratrecounsels.com).
• Founder of Socialigence – a venture specializing in development of ‘Social & Emotional Intelligence’ and its offshoot interpersonal skills through workshops and an award-winning online course rooted in neuroscience and psychology (www.socialigence.net).
• Author of two books related to his domain, namely - “Understanding Emotions Logically” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior”; and third book on various aspects of life, named “Two Paras of Everyday Wisdom”. Moreover, the collection of his Nazms and Ghazals is published as a book titled “Baat Jazbaat Ki”.
• Corporate Trainer, with experience of close to two decades. Has conducted 150+ workshops/sessions for 50+ organizations & institutions like CSC, Cummins, Piramal, Ranbaxy, Lupin, Bridgestone, Michelin, Eicher, Maruti, Force, Idea, Airtel, NBHC, SBI, HDFC, L&T, Zydus, Thapar University, Banasthali, Narsee Monjee, Symbiosis, IIFM Bhopal, Azim Premji University, Nirma, Welingkar & IBS Hyderabad.
• Co-Founder and Director of CH EdgeMakers – a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ organization of central India for more than 24 years. He has trained close to 100 thousand students for ‘Soft Skills’ & ‘Entrance & Recruitment Preparation’ (www.ch-india.com).
• ‘Management Speaker and Orator’. Has featured at platforms like TEDx, IIM, IIT, NIT, CII, YI, CII-IWN, TCS, IMA, ICAI, ECA, ISHRAE, NEN, Sahodaya, Aditya Birla Education Academy, Round Table, LinkedIn Local, Rotary International, MP State’s Teachers’ Training, Academic Staff College DAVV, Police University Rajasthan, Police Training Academy Indore & more than 100 institutions.
• Member of noted associations and boards. Has been an ‘Executive Committee’ member of Indore Management Association. Associate Editor of IMA publications. Governing Council Member of Banasthali University’s SBBJ Centre for Research in MSME & Promotion of Entrepreneurship in Women. Executive Member of IMS, DAVV Alumni Association. Member of Rotary International’s ‘Group Study Exchange’ team to Minnesota, USA. ESI Coach with FWSA Australia.
Note: For glimpses of work, watch YouTube Channel ‘Dr. Sandeep Atre at Socialigence’.
