“Permanent relationships should not be based on temporary emotions”…was my answer to one of my dear-ones when she asked me the ‘question in the title’.
………………
When it comes to long-term relationships, rather than choosing someone who you like or love, it is important to choose someone who you can respect and trust.
I have always believed that ‘liking’ or ‘loving’ are over-hyped emotions. Actually, often they are superficial or circumstantial. For instance, you are likely to fall for anyone who is good-looking or sweet-talking or fun-loving or high-flying. Or in contrast, you are equally likely to fall for anyone who is none of these and still happened to ‘be there for you’ when you were vulnerable, impressionable, down, hurt or lonely. Yup! It is as simple as that…
On the other hand, respect and trust are old-school stalwarts. Well! Someone who invokes these emotions in you may not sweep you off your feet or become regular visitor in your dreams or give you a ‘hormonal high’. Yes! You may start on a neutral note with this person and may not fall for him straightaway, yet with passage of time, he would gradually rise in your eyes and you would begin to feel happily proud to be with him.
And then…one day…love will also arrive. And mind it! When love is felt, it is endearing. But when it is ‘arrived at’, it is enduring…
………………
So, when it comes to long haul, don’t choose someone who makes you feel good. Choose someone who… is good. 🙂
Note: By the way, the post applies to both genders. It’s just that I found it easier to write with only one set of pronouns.
About Sandeep Atre
Dr. Sandeep Atre:
• Counseling Psychologist and an internationally recognized ‘Emotional & Social Intelligence’ Expert, with experience of more than two decades in helping people ‘sort out’ and ‘excel in’ intrapersonal and interpersonal matters. He holds a PhD in Management and a Master’s degree in Psychology (www.dratrecounsels.com).
• Founder of Socialigence – a venture specializing in development of ‘Social & Emotional Intelligence’ and its offshoot interpersonal skills through workshops and an award-winning online course rooted in neuroscience and psychology (www.socialigence.net).
• Author of two books related to his domain, namely - “Understanding Emotions Logically” and “Observing Nonverbal Behavior”; and third book on various aspects of life, named “Two Paras of Everyday Wisdom”. Moreover, the collection of his Nazms and Ghazals is published as a book titled “Baat Jazbaat Ki”.
• Corporate Trainer, with experience of close to two decades. Has conducted 150+ workshops/sessions for 50+ organizations & institutions like CSC, Cummins, Piramal, Ranbaxy, Lupin, Bridgestone, Michelin, Eicher, Maruti, Force, Idea, Airtel, NBHC, SBI, HDFC, L&T, Zydus, Thapar University, Banasthali, Narsee Monjee, Symbiosis, IIFM Bhopal, Azim Premji University, Nirma, Welingkar & IBS Hyderabad.
• Co-Founder and Director of CH EdgeMakers – a leading ‘Coaching and Training’ organization of central India for more than 24 years. He has trained close to 100 thousand students for ‘Soft Skills’ & ‘Entrance & Recruitment Preparation’ (www.ch-india.com).
• ‘Management Speaker and Orator’. Has featured at platforms like TEDx, IIM, IIT, NIT, CII, YI, CII-IWN, TCS, IMA, ICAI, ECA, ISHRAE, NEN, Sahodaya, Aditya Birla Education Academy, Round Table, LinkedIn Local, Rotary International, MP State’s Teachers’ Training, Academic Staff College DAVV, Police University Rajasthan, Police Training Academy Indore & more than 100 institutions.
• Member of noted associations and boards. Has been an ‘Executive Committee’ member of Indore Management Association. Associate Editor of IMA publications. Governing Council Member of Banasthali University’s SBBJ Centre for Research in MSME & Promotion of Entrepreneurship in Women. Executive Member of IMS, DAVV Alumni Association. Member of Rotary International’s ‘Group Study Exchange’ team to Minnesota, USA. ESI Coach with FWSA Australia.
Note: For glimpses of work, watch YouTube Channel ‘Dr. Sandeep Atre at Socialigence’.
